Tony Larson BLOG Spot

Update 2012

2012-02-05T00:33:00.003-06:00

I havent written on this blog in a long time it seems. I dont know if anyone even reads this. Its mainly just for myself I guess, to document everything like a journal. I just didnt get around to writing for a while at one point and wasnt up to filling in everything. Ive decided I may start again, as I am in a unique state right now.

2011 overall went very well. I was trying some racquets, even switched to one for a few months. Had a shoulder flare up and worried me a little but some rest and cortisone resolved it. I had some good results at the beginning, but then felt like I was playing poorly at times, even when winning. I decided to go back to my old racquet, and eventually felt decent about my game again but still lacked confidence. I probably improved my serve a little bit, but otherwise probably was the same player, and just a little off. I started to finally play my best toward the end of June, during the US Open regional. I had to beat 3 tough opponents, and going into it I didnt feel confident about beating them, much less all 3. But I battled and won the tournament and felt good about how I was hitting. From there I kept it rolling and won all of the regional prize money tournaments and got some pretty good wins. I really only had 2 losses I felt bad about all year at that point; one on clay early in the year when I was in a funk, and one in August in 3 sets to a good player, but that I had beaten the previous year in straight sets. My only other loss to that point was against a top 200 player, and I couldnt evaluate it much because I was sick and dehydrated going into the tournament and had cramping issues. Altogether, with several wins over current top 700 ATP players, I felt alot of confidence to give it everything I had at the US Open nationals.

I truly believed, deep inside of me, that if I felt good and played well that I could win the tournament. It was a big step up achievement-wise, but I really wanted it bad. Long ago, I didnt have the belief. I didnt have the mindset to go out and win, against anyone. I built players up in my mind, mainly from never playing against them or training against that caliber ever. This time I had an opportunity to reach for the stars. I won my first round handily, and then was against last year's winner, and another top 300 player. I was as mentally ready as possible. I stormed the match with all of my effort, and all of my concentration. I was determined to get to every ball, to hit aggressively, yet rarely miss, make great decisions, serve a high precentage. I broke him the first game of the match, and believed I could do it. I was there to fight and did not care if I was the unknown. I was doing all of these things, playing great, but the ball kept coming back. I was playing a player who could take everything I threw at him, and dish it out just as much and more. Many points were long, with hard hitting, and much running. I continued to keep missing the last shot. And his serve at times was simply too good to do anything about. After the first set, Im sitting in the chair feeling like Im focused, hustling, making lots of shots and hitting full-out, making lots of first serves and never double faulting, and yet I lost it 6-2. I was humbled.

The second set I still played fairly well, but I was shell-shocked and let down a bit, I lost the belief. I lost it 6-1. I did not know what to think. I went through the year and came into the tournament feeling like I was ready to take on this level. I felt like I was a good player, had lots of confidence and fight. All of that effort and I still got it handed to me. Toughest of all was mentally, I had absolutely no excuse to fall back on. I tried my best and performed my best and seemed so far away from the goal.

I have felt like I have nothing to look forward to. It was the toughest loss Ive had, to play well and believe, and lose by so much. My spirit is crushed. Ive had heart breaking losses in all different forms before, long ago even, when I was a kid. They motivated me, I felt like I still had time, like I could still get alot better, and in the future turn these losses around the other way. And I guess I have since. But this is different. I feel like the one thing I am supposed to be good at, I suck at. I feel regret of not living in better tennis conditions, not having good players or good coaching to train better. I feel like I have put so much of myself into becoming better at this however, and that I will never be as good as I want to be. The love of the game and the passion is seemingly diminishing. I had a fire before where I was always improving, coming off an injury and finally playing again, trying to reach my potential, to beat the odds of where Ive come from. I was seeing better results every year, even after college. I was building confidence and belief. And now Ive had a taste of another level, and after a beating, I am not satisfied with where I am at, and the confidence and ambition seems to be slipping. I have practices where I get extremely negative with my mistakes, with my demands to be at my best or better. I tank now and self-destruct willingly. I punish myself mentally, and loathe how I play, and it ties into my self worth and esteem. I have felt disinterested in the game at times, and turn down playing, decline to workout, eat junk. I get whims of training hard again, try different techniques, different racquets, different psychological ploys, and eventually become bitter at not finding what Im looking for. I feel Ineed a spark, a quick fix, to gain a surge of momentum and motivation. A technique that allows me to hit or serve like never before, a racquet to do these things. If I dont find it, Im not sure how I can train like I used to. It might feel pretend, and useless. Im feeling like my time is almost up, like Im old, like Im not good enough.

I watch Djokovic or Nadal or any other amazing player, and feel inspired. I have a greater appreciation for what they can do, an appreciation that players not as skilled do not have, and players better than I understand greater. I have been using a different racquet that I like, that is similar to my old one but having qualities of what I felt lacked before. Ive had days where I play pretty well, but Im too hard on myself. I have a week where I workout and diet like a professional, and then give up. Ive done this a few times on and off since December. In December of 2011, I had another loss to a Challenger level player that was very similar. I felt out-classed. I felt lackluster this time, and felt I did not play or fight my best. I know that I want so much more, but I have a broken soul.

I know that I am on the brink of one of two pathways. Either I will completely burnout, with disdain for the competitive game, and let go of this part of me and find a new identity, find new things to do with myself. Or, if I can find a way to gain momentum, and a purpose and reason, and a way to get back up again, to find ways where I can improve markedly, to find reasonable belief that I could turn these losses around and have a chance of winning at that level, then I will train much harder than ever before.

I dont know what will happen yet, so I will put myself out there, and see if the spark comes back, if I can find a way and a reason to make it happen, or let it go.

Honeymoon

2010-12-17T23:26:00.003-06:00

Again havent written in quite a while. I was able to win my tournament in Texas in October, playing really well without dropping a set. I had my semi-final match video-taped against the #1 seed and it is online here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TonLars#grid/user/C566066D2A86961A

Megan got a job and it has been going really well for her! We were able to go on our honeymoon vacation in early December to Cancun, Mexico. It was a great time of relaxation, fun activities and excellent food! Was nice for a change to not be on a trip for a tennis tournament and truly just have fun. I love being married to Megan and she is the best person Ive ever known.

Christmas is coming soon, and it will be great to have a little time with the family again. I recently finally got in to have my stomach issue examined and had a CT scan. Still awaiting the results, but the doctor again does not believe it is a hernia. Im not sure how the issue will resolve then, but at least now I dont have to worry about things getting worse down the road, and im hungry to start training hard again. Im still working on my serve, which is very frustrating, but I think it will come. If it ever does become a strength for me, I believe I will have much more success playing tennis.

Merry Christmas!

Fall Update

2010-10-13T15:41:00.002-05:00

I again have not written in a long time! Ive played a couple tournaments, the one on clay in August I won playing pretty well even though moving on clay is difficult for me not being used to it at all
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=90181&E=1
I also decided to play a tournament in Colorado that had alot of really good players and a huge $20,000 prize pool. While overall it was fun to go on the trip with Megan and go somewhere new, I did not account for the altitude and how the balls fly so much out there, and I never felt like I was able to play well at all. I did win a few matches but I was missing so much because the ball just travles further. To be better prepared for that another time I would need to practice there early and string my racquets much tighter to compsensate for the conditions. I almost, and should have won my quarterfinal match that went 3 sets by literally pushing just so I wouldnt miss my aggressive shots, but to top it off the guy I lost to was a complete jerk. Was a long story actually and I wont even go into the details. I probably wont play in altitude again like that and instead try to find good tournaments that are in more regular conditions.
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=89769&E=75

Work has started to pick up a bit and will get even busier once the weather turns. Fortunately we have worked out an arrangement where I will probably be working the same total hours a week but will have a day off instead of going 7 days a week. That will be really nice. Im still trying to play now, but have some injuries nagging me that I need to rest and/or get checked out. Otherwise I want to start playing alot and working out hard off the court as well. My mission needs to be to develop a much better 1st serve this winter, and if I can do that I think my game will be so much better. Im going to seek the help from a coach and even pay for the time if I need to to make this become a reality. I have a tournament in Texas in a week that I should be able to play much better at, and see how I match up with some former top 200 players. My dad and Megan will come with which should be fun!
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?T=94450

Everything at our new house is great and married life has overall been great as well!

Got married and playing good tennis!

2010-08-25T23:05:00.003-05:00

I havent written in over a month and alot of things have happened since! I was able to win the aquatennial tournament playing really well against a solid lefty veteran, and then played well in sioux falls winning the doubles and singles, losing only one game in my singles matches.

Then we moved out of my apartment and settled into a very nice home we are going to rent in Brooklyn Park, which is not too far from work (about 15 minutes). It was alot of work but it is well worth it being in such a nice place. We will have Megan's brother with us this year too.

Then I went up to Wisconsin for a tournament near Green Bay that is always a tough field, and I was playing well there as well. I beat a couple tough players the last 2 rounds and won my biggest tennis check ever at $1500.

Brutal Wear Open draw

Then the following weekend was amazing and everything went extremely well as I married Megan, the best girl Ive known! It was great to see so many friends and family to celebrate the special day. Megan let me play a tournament the next weekend and we will have a honeymoon in December out to Mexico and get out of the cold. It was the Manitoba Open, being the 2nd time in Winnipeg this summer. They lost their sponorship so the money got cut in half and the draw was thinner, but it was still fun and worth it overall. I played well except in the final; the wind was 50mph most of the time, but still won in straight sets.

This weekend I have a tournament on clay in St. Paul. 2 years ago there I played great and won it, but last year I played fairly bad and lost in an embarassing final. The field has some decent players but if I play well I should hopefully be able to win again.

Rochester and Aquatennial

2010-07-22T12:44:00.002-05:00

Ive continued to play well and won both the singles and doubles in Rochester, getting another month of rent paid. Had one close match in the doubles final which was 3 sets and about 3 hours. Very few breaks of serve and high level. We actually were however up 5-2 in the second set to close it out but ended up letting it slip away in a tiebreak, and then were serving and down a couple match points in the third as we saved them and broke to win in the end.

http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?T=94056

Right now Ive been in the Aquatennial tournament during the week and have made it to the finals which will be tomorrow. I have struggled a bit on the unique surface there, and had a very close semi-final because the third set is a tiebreak instead of a full set. Since I slipped up the first set, even though I won easily the 2nd it was anybody's game at the end, but I pulled it out. After the match tomorrow we will head up to Sioux Falls for the tournament there, and to see my Grandpa and uncle. The Stanford #1 player who I lost a close final match to last year in Sioux Falls is not returning unfortunately, but I should now have a great chance to finally win that tournament. The Aquatennial final is against a player I have always had close matches with, but if I play well I should hopefully be able to win.

Aquatennial draw
Sioux Falls draw

Rapid City

2010-07-07T14:43:00.002-05:00

Went to Rapid City last weekend and it was a fun trip overall. The elevation is somewhat difficult to get used to making the balls fly a bit more, but overall I played pretty well and won the singles and doubles to take home another $1200. It was nice that it wasnt over 100 degrees out there this time, but we did have several rain delays and actually played both finals matches indoors. I felt like I was missing alot more than I should but played good enough to get the job done. The 8-9 hour drive both ways can be tough but it was worth it.

http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=92916&E=1

Its starting to get pretty hot here in Minnesota actually, been near the 90's the last few days. I hate those conditions but hopefully I can get through it. I go to Rochester this weekend and am playing doubles as well. Its always a pretty deep tournament but if Im playing well I should have a good chance to win again hopefully.

Us Open qualifying

2010-06-29T14:31:00.004-05:00

Ive had a nice couple of weeks and have been playing pretty well recently. I had a bit of a tournament break after the Moore Lake tournament, because Waterloo dropped its prize money and I decided not to bother going down there. In the meantime I worked out quite a bit, and hit a little although all of my normal hitting partners were busy with their own tournaments. A couple weekends ago was a section Us Open qualifying tournament. It was in St Cloud at Gold's Gym where I played my college home matches. I started off a bit slow adjusting to the really fast courts and not having played sets in over a week, but my first two rounds were relatively easy. I was fairly tired from little sleep, and dehydrated, and faced a very tough opponent in the 3rd round. It was a close match but I played fairly well by then, although was cramping near the end slightly. I pulled off the breaks and big points to win. Semis was against a player who has a huge serve and hits big, but I was playing aggressive myself and was able to be more consistent, winning 7-6 6-1. He has had an atp ranking and been a hitting partner for the Indian Wells tournament, hitting with basically anyone you could name including Federer, Nadal, Robredo and more. The finals was against a decent player without as much power, and I was able to control the match and won 6-2 6-3. The last two rounds we had basically a full lines crew calling everything out which was nice and pretty fun. Alot of people, including many I knew and my family, came out to watch as well.

http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=93368&E=1

This last weekend was at a new tournament in Winnipeg. I will be up there again in August the weekend after my wedding for the larger tournament I have previously gone to for the last 4-5 years. I was playing well there too, and in the finals I was up against a very tough player who is ranked in the top 10 in Canada. Ive seen him play before up there, and expected a really tough match and realized I could possibly lose. But as I said, I played aggressively and did well, and things just went my way to win 6-2 6-2 and $1000.

http://baseline.computan.com/ClienteDraws/SDM4.aspx?Info=nFgxRbY2vMbN1hR9PzFR73kV6uWwXkxevbc1r7jtM5%2ft+Qtq2xwZMw==

I earned the right to play in a national tournament from St Cloud, which has the winner of each section play with the tournament winner advancing to the Us Open qualifying. I would love to go, but I realize I likely cannot win the tournament, and the USTA does not cover any of the costs. There is no prize money, and I would also have to miss both the Aquatennial and Sioux Falls tournaments which are fun and I can make a good amount of money at hopefully. I have decided not to go to the US Open nationals in Atlanta, which is unfortunate since its an amazing opportunity, but Im ok with the decision and feel it is the right one. This weekend Im going up to the Rapid City tournament again. Its a long ways away and usually gets very hot there, but I should have a great chance to win.

Moore Lake tournament and rematch

2010-06-01T14:31:00.002-05:00

Had the tournament to start the summer which is only about 5-10 minutes from where I live, and is the site where I usually practice at. Last year, I lost a 3 hour and 3 set match to my frequent practice partner and rival that I was so close to winning, and felt I could have played much better. This year I was looking for the rematch, and we met in the final. Unfortunately, the result was nearly the same as before.

I performed much better this year which helps my mind a little. However, he has also improved his game a fair amount. I thought I played extremely well the first set, but then even after that we both played well the rest of the match. I couldnt get it done against a great competitor and lost 6-2, 6-7, 3-6. In the second set, I battled back from down 2-5 to even it up, but was unable to seal it and didnt play well in the tiebreak. He is tough to beat because he just keeps the ball in play rarely giving an error, is as fast as they come, doesnt tire or wear down, plays good defense and passes well, and at times can hit a big backhand down the line and big flat first serves. I played aggressive from the baseline, ran him all over the court and hit alot of winners, but at the same time played really smart and patient making good decisions and waiting for opportunities. I hit my volleys and overheads well and made alot of points finishing off floaters, and only double faulted once (that I can recall) in 3 hours.

The difference in the third set, I think, was that he started serving really well, I started to miss a little more and lose steam, and I wasnt coming to net as much as I had been being a little more tight. If only I could have played a good tiebreak I maybe could have done it there. Its really tough to lose that match, because I really wanted it, but at least I played good tennis. He is 2-0 on me in two 3 set, 3 hour tournament matches but we have probably played over 100 practice sets and Ive won maybe 65-70% of them. He is a great player and apparently ranked #9 nationally in 18 and under at the moment. Hopefully Ill be able to win some of these type of matches the rest of the summer. My friend and I played well in the doubles final against a tough Gopher team and won in 3 sets.

http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=75612&E=1

I have had an injury for almost a month now. I must be getting old or something, but it is so frustrating. As of now I have seen a general doctor, but Im still not sure whether or not I have a hernia or a strained ab muscle. Ive been able to play through it but it bothers me. I will probably see a specialist soon and hopefully figure out some real answers. Otherwise, nothing this weekend, and then after that I have a tournament nearly every weekend for the whole summer.

USPTA Indoors

2010-05-05T22:36:00.002-05:00

Had a good tournament a couple weekends ago. Was able to win both the singles and the doubles:

http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?T=87125

Was expecting to play an opponent in the semis who I had lost a couple very close matches against several years ago, but he retired with an injury at the beginning of his first round. In the finals I also expected to play the #2 seed who I split 2 matches with last summer but he was taken out by another player who was playing extremely well. These two things opened the door nicely for me, although I was playing well. Doubles was fun and we were a good combination; hoping to play more events with him in the future.

I also turned 26 shortly after the tournament, and had a fun birthday. I dont feel like the number, so I guess thats what counts! Ive been starting to and plan to work out really hard in May, and then at the end of the month I have a tournament basically every weekend until the end of August. Megan graduates this coming weekend, then Ill be going to be in a wedding for an old friend and tennis team player when we were in Santa Barbara the next. Looking forward to the tournament Memorial Day weekend here in Fridley which I traditionally never seem to get good results at, and put that too rest. Hoping for a rematch from last year especially.

Victoria tournament

2010-04-09T21:25:00.003-05:00

Right now im not hitting very well, not the first time Ive gone through a slump or anything though. I could write in detail about it, but Im in such a funk that I really just dont want to. I just dont feel like Im hitting my shots well, and Ive realized that I really do need to fix and improve my serve technique if I really want to get to a higher level. Good news is my foot feels great and I can move fast again. Also, the Canada tournament in Victoria was pretty fun, and I played decent although not my best. I was able to win my first match against a good player, and then I ran into a player who has been ranked in the top four or 500 on the tour and lost 6-3 6-4. Im not sure how I even kept it that close considering I made a ton of unforced errors.

http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=92704&E=2

They also taped my match that I lost. although it is neat to watch, it is also painful to see so many missed shots. Though I dont even really care to link the video to this blog, to be and true and honest with myself by putting up the good stuff, I have to also live with the bad. Heres the first part of the match:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hGIrB1R91c

If you want to see the rest then you can navigate through all 6 segments yourself. Right now I plan to start working out hard again, find some time to experiment with my serve, and simply try to hit as much as possible to find good form again. It is difficult mentally to hit poorly and keep at it but I will try.

Road block

2010-03-15T23:50:00.003-05:00

I had been working hard and doing what I set out to do all January and February with my tennis and workouts. Unfortunately, over the last 3+ weeks Ive had some issues preventing me from continuing it all. First, I got a little sick. But mainly, Ive had an ingrown toenail problem for several months. A long time ago it started, and I did some things to help it and although it still hurt a little, it had been tolerable since. But a few weeks ago it really flared up bad for some reason. Im not sure if is because of my shoes, trimming my toenails wrong, simply stressing it from playing hard or a combination of it all, but I decided I need to get this thing taken care of because I cant deal with this happening during the tournament season (which is soon).

I went to a foot doctor and had part of my toenail permanently removed, and I think this might take care of the problem. However, after playing and teaching for the first time today since I had the procedure a few days ago (the doctor said I could do everything as normal), my toe hurts big time. I came home limping, red/swollen and with chills, so I hope its not infected. All I know is Im probably not going to be able to run or play tennis for a while.

I have a tournament in about 3 weeks in Canada that I was excited to play, but now I am worried if I will be healed, in shape and playing well when the time comes. Its a long ways away which I will be flying to, in Victoria Canada. It is near Vancouver I believe but im not really sure. They have been nice enough to pay for my hotel and rental car at the tournament, and the prize money is very nice with $2000 for the winner. I hope I can be at my best there and soon. All of my hard work and conditioning pretty much went to waste, but if I can heal up and start going hard soon, I think I can still find good form come April.

Hard yards

2010-01-19T22:28:00.004-06:00

I realized I havent written in a long time. Nothing extremely interesting, just been busy with work, and playing alot of tennis in-between. The holidays were great to be home for a while. My cell-phone was stolen from me recently but I just got a new phone today. I work on Sundays alot and havent seen many games, but the Vikings are in the NFC championship this coming weekend so it would be cool to see them get into the Superbowl. Megan is starting her last semester of nursing and will be doing her clinicals down here in Minneapolis, so ill see her alot (and get some great home cooking!). I have a new video camera, and am hoping to record and upload some of my matches this summer once I learn how to do so properly.

Other than that, my goal this winter is to train harder physically than I have in the past. That sounds cliche because I do think I have worked very hard at my fitness and my game throughout the years, and I know ive used that phrase before. But for the past few winters, without a college season and having to work alot, although I do play a fair amount I had not been doing the kind of physical tough training that I could. I would not get enough sleep, not eat well, and not do hard-core off court workouts regularly, but more on and off. This winter I have started and intend to do sprints a few times a week, almost every day im doing some interval biking or fast 2-mile treadmills runs, Im doing weights and such every other day, im doing ab work every few days, in addition to playing tennis probably 6 times a week and sometimes ill play twice a day. Im also trying to eat a better diet and get more sleep. If I can continue this and progressively increase my work load, I will by far be in the best shape coming into April and May than I have ever been, probably including the college days. I play very hard and aggressive with my explosiveness and speed, but now I want long stamina to maintain aggression into the 3 hour mark, and the 7th match mark. Right now my other two goals that I havent done much of, but want to also start doing are stretching once a day for 15+ minutes, and find some time to practice and improve my first serve. Im hoping that I can do better this summer than last year and have some improved results.

Indain Wells tournament

2009-10-18T22:31:00.002-05:00

Our league team got a wildcard to play in the league championships at the Indian Wells Tennis Center in Palm Springs. It wasnt 115 degrees this time so it was much nicer. Also, I was playing very well out there and won all my matches in straight sets. I beat a guy one year or so older than me who played in the middle of the lineup for U Southern Cal, only losing one game, and also a guy who is about one of the best 10 in the world for 45 and overs. I came back from down 0-4 15-40 in that one too, which will be memorable.

Work has been getting fairly busy, and I was a little tired last week from not getting enough sleep, but ive been doing fine and still playing almost every day. Overall, I feel good, and my foot actually is starting to feel better without really doing anything for it, but I think I will need to get some kind of inserts still to prevent it. Ive had a nice break now since August just practicing, just playing the one tournament at Indian wells, and not doing any off court workouts. I still feel like I have more improvement to do and that I can go further with my playing. I also feel like I can do so much more to train as a professional. Breaks are good though, and I lose sight of that. I just have so much desire to play and compete, and I want to improve my results. Even though I have a good idea, I sometimes wonder where it really all comes from. I think my rest period is about over now, and I think I want to start really working out hard and doing all the right things to be at my best again, and also work on my serve. If im in good shape, and playing alot so im sharp, and make the addition of having a better serve, I truly think I could maybe do some things this coming year that I have only dreamed of.

A mental break

2009-09-20T21:23:00.002-05:00

I havent written in a long time. In the finals of my tournament on clay end of August, I played one of the worst matches ive played in a couple years or more probably. I was just very tired and had nothing left physically or mentally, and couldnt keep the ball in the court. I had no fight or focus and nothing felt right when I hit it. It was a really tough loss for me, because I played so badly, but then also my family and Megan's came to watch, a few of my customers and friends, as well as alot of spectators there expecting a good final saw me embarass myself and play nothing like I can or have been. I knew I needed a break, and since it was the last tournament of the summer it was a good time. I havent actually really taken a big break though; Ive still been playing tennis almost every day. But it helps to not play twice a day, or 6-7 matches in a weekend. I feel like Ive recovered physically a little, but mostly mentally. Ive been playing well again back on hard courts and with some time off.

Ive taken most of the USPTA exam recently and feel like I did pretty well, and if I do well on the written exam I should be certified and ready to play those tournaments. I learned some things and feel like Ive maybe improved my teaching as well. I went home a few weekends too now which was nice, we were able to relax and do some fun things. That included our engagement party which was fun and really nice of 2 of our friends to host.

Work is getting busier, but not swamped. Seems like the fall schedule should be good but before long it will be winter and then ill be really busy again working 7 days a week with lots of hours. Its toughest due to the energy required to do it on top of my playing my own practices in between, and often not getting to eat dinner until a very late hour of sometime 9 or 10. Overall though, its a great job. I still have my plantar fascitis issue but it doesnt seem to be getting worse. It bothers me though so I need to see a doctor and get some orthotics and do stretches for it soon. Like I said, Ive been playing good tennis again and hopefully will be able to play alot this winter with all the different players I have for options. I have finally found what I believe to be the racquet im going to switch to: the Microgel Prestige Midplus. Most of it also is due to finding the correct string setup finally, which has been frustrating last year having tensions that were way too tight to play well with at times. In fact, Ive tried a new string to me (Luxilon ALU Power 16) that many of the professional players use, and at the right tension the last few days with it I actually think im playing better than ever. Some say it can cause arm/elbow problems so ill have to be wary of that, but the racquet seems to be arm friendly and Im stringing at a low enough tension I think to also hopefully counter the stiffness of the string. Im planning soon to start off-court workouts again, and then the biggest thing I can do to improve my game is develop a good first serve that can get me free points. If I can do this, I think I will be able to do major damage this next year, and maybe start trying to do more pro tournaments instead of the cash prize local tournaments.

Life is good, and ill be married in under a year now to the perfect girl for me.

worn down losses

2009-08-20T21:13:00.002-05:00

Had a tough last couple weeks playing-wise. I have felt fatigued lately and not at the same energy level as earlier this summer and I suppose it is because Ive been playing non-stop with almost no time off. It has affected my performance a little and I had some disappointing losses the last 2 weekends. First at the Wisconsin tournament I wasnt playing real well but won my first two rounds, and then played against an Argentine guy from Chicago that I had beaten in Winnipeg a few weeks earlier. I felt like I wasnt even in the match mentally or physically and lost with 3 breaks. I had 2 40-0 games that I lost and that is extremely frustrating and unacceptable. He played really well though and is a very tough player. He almost took out the jerk in the next round I guess, was pulling for him. He thought it would be me playing him in the semis (according to interview) so it seems he has some respect for my game even though he does what he does on the court.
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=73335&E=1

Then the following weekend I had the league sectional playoffs which I knew would probably be against a couple tough players. First one played a guy I often have close matches with but when im playing well have rolled to some easier wins. I was actually playing well and up 6-0 3-0 before I lost my first game. He then started to play much better, and I much worse. I had a match point but lost the 2nd set 7-5 and was then in a tiebreak for the whole thing. I overcame being down 2-5 and a line call to win it 10-8. Again, unacceptable to let a guy back in the match and off the hook, but relievably still a win. Then I played the guy I beat in the Rochester final, who is a very solid player, and I didnt play very well and lost 6-3 6-4. Turns out if I had won that match, our team would have secured a trip to nationals. To top it off, I found out im being bumped up and out of the league, so I guess I should have tanked a few league matches and made them a little closer or something, its pretty rediculous. Not a big deal but its fun to have that scheduled practice match every week and have some fun on a team.

This weekend is a tournament on clay unfortunately, but last year I played really well there and won the tournament beating a few good players. Its not very deep this year but in the final I will likely be up against a guy who was the #1 player for the U of MN a couple years ago. I dont think he has been playing alot but he will still be tough im sure. Just hoping I have some energy and can play well this time, its the last tournament of the summer and then theres not much at all for a very long time. Then Ill probably take a little rest and then try to start training and improve some things in my game for next year.
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=75315&E=1

2nd place finishes... again

2009-08-03T14:42:00.002-05:00

Had a fun time in Sioux Falls playing tennis and seeing my family out there. I had posted the draw in my earlier entry, and I did well. I won through to the finals without trouble and played the Stanford #1. I played pretty well, not great actually, and was able to take him to 3 sets. I even broke serve right away in the 3rd set to go up 1-0 serving, but then I started to make some loose errors, as well as him hitting some big serves and playing well. So, I lost 6-2 4-6 6-3 to a top 5 NCAA Division 1 player. It is great to know im right there with that level, and yet disappointing to lose a match I had a chance to win again against a great player. My partner and I won the doubles again so that was also fun.

I had a smaller tournament this last weekend, on clay. Clay would seem to suit my game style well, however im not used to it and never practice on it, and I have a difficult time with the footing and seem to be off balance and slipping around frequently. Movement is one of my strengths and clay seems to take that away from me even though the ball moves a little slower off the bounce. I met up with the same guy I lost to at Waterloo and Aquatennial again in the final. I played decent but actually not as wellas I have been playing, and I lost the match with just the one break of serve in each set for 6-4 6-3. He was again acting like a jerk, and toward the end I had enough of it, combined with me playing a little off and having a line call issue I told him off right there as well as after the match. He deserved to hear it. He is a great player, but there is no reason to act like that. It is only showing anyone what kind of person he is. Bottom line is I lost again, and most of the reasons for my losses this summer minus the one match I played poorly in against the 16 year old, is because my serve is not at the same level as the rest of my game whereas these players have a killer serve. The serve is without doubt the most important and weaponous shot in tennis. I will need to get serious this fall and develop my serve even more, despite having improved it. I have a ways to go, and if I do develop a good serve, it will be difficult to beat me. Here was the draw:
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=72627&E=18

Next weekend is going to be a very tough and deep field for the tournament in Wisconsin. They pay out big money to the finalists so I hope I can play well there. I havent slept well for the last few days, especially last night thinking about the match didnt even get any sleep until past 4am, so hopefully I can get some good rest and feel energized soon.

Aquatennial finals, break point chances

2009-07-24T12:18:00.002-05:00

The semi-final was rained out and moved indoors, and I was able to win 6-1 6-2 and played pretty decent although I was a little tired from the weekend in Winnipeg. So in the finals I was up against the guy who I beat here in the final in 2007. The same match that I posted some video clips of a while back in this blog. Also, he beat me this June in Waterloo Iowa while I was using those rackets for about 5 days. He is really tough so I knew it was going to be a difficult match to win. He has improved a fair amount since two years ago, and the slick surface favors his playing style, although I too have improved alot, have been playing well against and beaten players at his level this summer, and am using my regular racket this time.

First set was basically on serve fairly routine, excpet I had to save a few break points at 2-3 but held which was very important. I had some break chances of my own but failed to convert. Then, at 5-5 on his serve, I got up 0-40 setting up a great chance to break and serve out the set. I maybe took it for granted, as I really thought I was going to do it with no problem. He saved them to deuce, and then we played for sure the longest game I have ever played in my life. We literally had about 20, or more, deuces in that game. I had several break points, but sadly, I converted none. Most of the time, he came up with good serves, some of the time we had some tough hard-hitting rallies that he won. On one of them in particular, I had somewhat of a chance opening with an inside-out forehand that was to be a winner, but I went for too much angle and missed it wide. We ended up going to the tiebreak, where I got up 3-1, but then he went ahead 6-3 to end up winning the breaker 7-5. Second set he played really well and didnt give me anything, and he took the set 6-2 and the championship. Without details, he did indeed act like a jerk on the court, however that was not unexpected or unusual, and it doesnt affect my gameplay anyways. However, after the match in the interview, he said a couple nice things about me, so that was appreciated. He is simply a really great player, although we are pretty evenly matched I have to say he is the better player and deserved to win. I was 0/16 total for break points and that hurts. He has alot more experience than me playing on the ATP tour in Futures and Challenger tournament for the last 2 years now, so its tough to expect to overcome that. Here was the draw:
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=73737&E=1

Now I head to Sioux Falls, on a regular court which is nice after playing on the weird Aquatennial sport-court. In the finals I would meet the Stanford #1 player again, who has finished 2nd and 4th for NCAA Division 1 singles the last 2 years. Last year I played fairly well and went 6-3 6-2 with him. I ran out of gas and was fatigued, and combined with my improvement over the last year, I believe that if I play well I can have a better result against him this time possibly. He is an extremely aggressive player; its going to be really tough. He may be the best player Ive ever played. Should be fun, here is the draw for that:
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=75314&E=1
Playing doubles as well and should hopefully be able to win it for the 4th time in a row now with my same partner.

On a roll, playing well

2009-07-20T10:59:00.004-05:00

The last two weekends have been really fun and amazing for me. Ive been playing my best tennis yet, and had some great results. First, I had the tournament in Rochester which had a pretty deep field as usual. I was the top seed, and was playing well and cruised through some good players and was feeling very confident going into the final. I knew in the final I would have a pretty tough test against the 2nd seed. He was #1 for Gustavus, and won the national indoor championship for ncaa division 3 this year. He was even tougher than I thought actually. I felt great again and won 6-1 in the first set but it was much more tense the rest of the way. Got broke to go down 5-3 in the second set but came back to 5-5 before again losing it 7-5. Was frustrated with that little lapse but started the 3rd set great going up 2-0 and eventually broke him again to win the set 6-3 and the match! One thing, besides playing very well throughout, that I was pleased with was staying strong and not being very tired in the final set even though it was 3 hours long and I had plenty of tennis previously. The fitness work and extra measures im taking must be paying off. I won $1000 for the tournament, being my biggest singles check Ive ever won. The tournament website is here, currently the draws are not posted but they will be eventually:
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?T=81094
Here is an article the paper wrote, not much about the actual match though:
http://www.postbulletin.com/newsmanager/templates/localnews_story.asp?z=22&a=407649

During the week on Wednesday, the Aquatennial tournament began. I was matched up against a pretty good, big serving player, but felt confident I could win handily. Unfortunately it wasnt without struggle, as the court played extremely fast, slippery, and with very low and bad bounces at times. There was only one break of serve the entire match, and I was fortunate to end up the winner 7-6 7-5.

For this last weekend, I was in Winnipeg (Canada) in the tournament that has the largest prize money given in which I play in. Its also a very fun tournament. I again was playing good tennis and picked up right where I left off at Rochester and cruised through my first two rounds against solid players. The semi-final was a tough one against a very good lefty player. The match was very very similar in the score and the swings to my final match in Rochester. I won the first set only dropping a game, then lost a tight 2nd set, and edged out a close third set to advance to the final. He was also my doubles partner and we were a tough team, but we lost a 3 setter to another very good team there. So all I had left then was the singles final against a player who only dropped a couple games to each player on his own way to the final. He had a cannon serve and a solid game so I wasnt sure what to expect, but after shaking some nerves at the beginning I was playing pretty well and won the first set 6-4. The next set also was very close and I wanted to close it out right there but ended up getting broken to lose it 6-4. I got down 5-1 in the 3rd set after not playing as well as I had been, but then turned on the adrenaline and left it all out there to come back to 5-4. It was a close final game but one that I lost, to lose a very disappointing opportunity, although to a tough player. I felt pretty strong again even though I played alot of sets in Canada, but admittedly I was running a little low on energy down the stretch there although I got my second wind at the end. I again got paid a little over $1000 but wanted very badly to hold up the trophy, get my name in the winners book, be the first American to win, and get an extra thousand dollars for winning. It was kinda fun having ball kids out there, but I was really hoping the match would be on TV like it was last year. I can only hope next year im injury free and playing well, and ill try to win it...
http://www.tennismanitoba.com/tournaments/mbopen/mbopen.html

I have my semi-final for Aquatennial this week. The #1 seed, who I lost to in last year's final and would have been playing next, withdrew, so I should have a great shot to advance to the final again this year. I will instead then play the guy I beat fairly easily first round in Rochester, but cant take it too lightly as he is a good attacking player and its a surface that is both tricky and favors his style. The final would be against a couple players I would really like to play against for the title. Then, next weekend is Sioux Falls. Ill be able to see some of my family out there, and get a shot at the Stanford #1 again.

2 tournaments one weekend

2009-06-26T12:58:00.002-05:00

The sectional indeed was really small this year, as there ended up being only 4 players including myself. I have no idea why it was this small; the last 3 years its been a pretty good tournament, and before that for several years all the best players around would be there and it would be a draw with a round of 64 or more. They dont give any prize money and the entry fee is 50-some dollars so that might be part of it. Anyways I wanted more matches so I decided to enter another tournament at the same time here in the cities and managed to make it work and won all 6 of my matches without much trouble.
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=75282&E=17
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=74670&E=1

This weekend is another smaller tournament without any prize money, but it will be good to get some matches and hopefully fun. Im playing doubles also. The 4th of July weekend ill have off and will go home for some fun for a few days. Then after that, July is full of tough tournaments with the big prize money, and im really motivated to do well there. Im still disappointed with my two losses at the beginning of the summer and if I can do well and win a few tournament in July I will be really pleased. It was really hot the beginning of this week, 97 degrees at one point. I hate the heat but ill do my best to beat it. Heres the Grand Forks tournament:
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=77438&E=1

Waterloo, tried new racquet

2009-06-12T11:58:00.002-05:00

Tournament in Waterloo, Iowa last weekend ended with a runner-up finish: http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=79618&E=1
A few days before, I had been trying a new racquet (again...). After reading about my attempt to switch this winter, you might possibly think how weird, or even foolish it was of me to try to switch. I guess the loss at Moore Lake was hard for me to take since I did not play well there, and I thought I would try a racquet out that caught my interest. So anyways I thought I liked it even though it is much different than my old racquet, but in Waterloo I felt that I just was not playing particularly well the entire tournament. Not only needing to adjust to the racquet and missing some shots but also I felt my shots just didnt have nearly as much sting on them. I lost in the final to a very good player, but one that I have beaten before not too long ago. I tried hitting again with my old racquet the last couple days and I play much, much better with it. I need to write myself a note to not try to find a magic bullet in switching equipment in the future!

This weekend I have off, and the following weekend I will hopefully be playing in the hard court sectional at the U of M (right now theres only one person registered). I have confidence and am playing well again now that I have my old racquet so I hope to do well there, and I need to remember that sometimes Im just going to have a slump or days where I dont play as well for whatever reason. We began our junior summer programs this week and it went very well. Megan has also started her internship at a hospital here in the cities so she is down here with me and it is nice to be together alot more often.

Moore Lake tournament

2009-05-26T11:49:00.002-05:00

Had a tournament this weekend
http://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=75603&E=1
In my first match I played very well and beat an old rival that I played alot in junior tournaments. then the semis I played one of my hitting partners, the 16 year old player that is very good and I have mentioned on here before. We had a very long and tough 3 set match that took about 3 hours. I at times played well but I really was not at a good level throughout the match, and played especially poor in the third set to lose 7-6 6-7 1-6. In the 2nd set tiebreak we were at 6-6 and had a long point that I lost; if only I could have won that one or played a little better I might have won in it right there in 2 sets. I guess mainly I was missing my attacking forehands more than usual, too many errors. He is a tough player who tracks down everything and makes you play an extra few shots when you attack him side to side so you cant afford to miss attacking shots alot. I also was a little low on energy for that 3rd set. I am disappointed in myself and its a tough loss to take. All I can do however is keep working hard and try to get my forehand working again like it was last summer. In doubles, I played with a good player and friend and we did well overall. We got to the finals and lost a close match there. It was fun and if we play together more (this was our first time) I think we could be a very tough team.

Next is the Iowa tournament in Waterloo, which is in 2 weeks. Looking forward to that and getting a rematch with the big serving Drake player if he is there this year. For work, the spring session just ended so my work hours will now be very low for a little while until we start up our summer session. I will try to do alot of playing and working out to get my game where it should be for the rest of the summer tournaments.

Lakeville tournament, Rockband 2

2009-04-19T22:24:00.005-05:00

Had a tournament this weekend. Was hoping that more players would register so I could get more matches or some closer ones but it was still fun I guess. I was able to win the 2 singles matches only losing a few games and for the most part played pretty well. In doubles I played well overall but at some key moments I could have done a little better. We also were up 5-4 in the first set and 5-3 in the second set and ended up losing 7-5 7-6. Its just doubles I suppose but I hate losing and was playing pretty hard to get us the win.
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=77308&E=13
I kinda hurt my back the day before when I was practicing so I was worried that would be an issue, but after popping some aleeve and icing a bit I didnt feel much pain. Hopefully that will heal up completely soon as I continue to play and workout alot now to get ready for all the summer tournaments.
It was a fun weekend having my mom and Megan here. We did some fun things and it was nice since I am usually all alone down here. I got an early birthday present which is extremely fun, and that is the Wii game Rockband 2. It is very similar to the Guitar hero game except with the addition of drums and singing. The singing is usually hard because most of the time you dont really know the music or see the lyrics well enough if its not a familiar song, but that actually resulted in some pretty funny moments. I havent laughed so hard in years I dont think as for a couple of the songs my mom tried to drum and sing! It'll be fun to do that when im bored, but its definitely more fun to play with other people.
Its my birthday next week on the 27th; ill be a quarter of a century old at 25. Its hard to believe Im that old, out of college, engaged, and paying my rent and alot of bills. Things sure go by fast. Overall everything is going really well and im excited for the summer. The next tournament isnt for a while, at about the end of May, and then after that I will be playing in one just about every weekend until August.

Alabama recap

2009-04-04T20:51:00.002-05:00

The tournament overall was a good experience I guess. I won my first round and lost the second.
http://www.itftennis.com/mens/tournaments/drawsheetbyround.asp?tournament=1100018863&event=1100105676
Ill try to keep this short since I dont have much time, but basically playing outdoors was a very different game and it was difficult to adjust to so quickly. My first round and practice hits I felt like I was playing below average. For my second round match, I actually started to get a feel for the conditions a bit and hit fairly well, but it was very frustrating. It was a match where I was not able to convert break points and game points; I would estimate I was about 1 out of 11 or more on break points alone. I was down 6-1 3-1 when I started to play a little better and was fighting very hard, and I got up 4-3 40-15 on his serve, and yes I was unable to win that game and I lost the match in a tiebreak for the second set. No doubt my opponent was a solid player, but I feel if I played at my capability or indoors, I would have won in straight sets. Anyways, it was fun to get some nice weather, and worth it to take a shot at the tournament. I will hopefully play another circuit tournament this August in Milwaukee, the location where I injured my wrist 2 years ago. I have a tournament Im probably going to play around here in 2 weeks, and other than that I will try to workout hard and play as often as possible. I have been playing alot of sets lately with another great 15 year old player almost daily so it is nice to hit alot and play points.

My work hours have significantly declined, which to be honest is both a good and bad thing. I view it mostly as a positive because this winter I was working very hard and long hours. It will be nice to have a lighter load. Im planning to go home and to Megan's for Easter this coming weekend to so that will be nice.

Getting over flu; Alabama soon

2009-03-13T17:51:00.002-05:00

I can say that I was really doing well with my workouts and playing tennis, and for the most part eating a little better. Sleeping habits were streaky. But I was definitely working out hard and playing tennis daily, sometimes twice a day and playing very well. Then last week, I got what was either the stomach flu or food poisoning. I didnt work or play for several days, and lost all of my fluids. My opinion is that I simply got too worn down from working really hard to exhaustion and not getting enough sleep.

I feel like Ive taken a huge step back with everything now, but hopefully I will be able to be in decent form and condition in a couple weeks when I leave for the tournament. I feel a little tired when I play now, and I havent done any extra working out besides when I hit for over a week now. Im still extremely busy with work, with zero days off, and its difficult to even get hitting in on a regular basis. Hopefully this too wont be a problem and ill be able to play daily with some people to get ready. I leave the 27th.

Engaged =)

2009-02-17T10:45:00.002-06:00

Yep, I did it on Valentines day! I had the ring for quite a while but wasnt sure when I would propose, and wanted it to be the right time when she wouldnt expect it. A little reverse psychology in doing it on the holiday! We have been together 5 years, so it was getting to be about that time, and we are thinking of having the wedding when she finishes school about a year and a half from now that summer. I suppose I can give a quick recap of what I did, so here goes. I had a similar idea as what I actually did going into Saturday, but just didnt really feel it was unique or creative. It wasnt until after we ate dinner and on the way home that the idea popped into my head! So when we got home we opened our Valentines day gifts, and then I told her I would give her a massage and she should just go lay down on the bed while I did something quick. That gave me a chance to get the ring out of the hiding spot. Then, I have an ipod and a sound dock for it and I put on one of "our" songs while I gave her the back massage. During the song it was just special because I knew that I was living in the moment in time when this would happen, and we would remember it many years later from now. Anyways, at the end of the song I wanted to kiss her, but she noticed something funny feeling and sounding. I had the ring in my mouth! Once she took it out of hers and looked at it, it was pure shock and surprise, and she knew the moment was there. I was already kneeling at the bed, and I said some things to her and asked. It went really well! We both have just been really happy since, and as she called everyone for about 2 hours that night I got to hear the story and her excitement over and over and I just smiled thinking about it. I really knew within the first months of knowing each other that she was the girl for me, and that I wanted to be with her forever.

On track, Mobile Alabama tournament next

2009-02-10T22:40:00.003-06:00

Im happy to say that over the past 2 or 3 weeks or so, I have been doing great with staying on track toward my resolutions. Im playing quite a bit, sleeping better, eating better, working out alot, and that combined with now having the right racquet and strings set up has allowed me to start playing pretty well and feel strong.

I have good reason to be working hard also I guess, since Im getting a great opportunity at the end of March. March 27th I will be traveling to Mobile, Alabama to play in a "Futures" lower level pro circuit tournament. I will also be traveling and there all by myself unfortunately, but at the same time I think that could allow me to focus really well. Obviously theres alot of very good players who will be there, and so how I do depends heavily on how im feeling, playing and who im matched up against in the draw. I could lose right away for all I know, but I have a chance if Im playing well to win a match or possibly even a couple. The ultimate goal would be to win 4 matches, which would reward me with an ATP point and a world ranking. Anyways, Im working pretty hard on my fitness and playing right now and I would like with that to take a chance and see how it goes. I have something to look forward to now instead of having to wait all the way until the summer for my first tournaments of the year. I still have a month and a half to train the way I have been, and so I think by then I should be somewhat close to the top of my game, hopefully even better than before. Im still just starting to get my on court game back together after the couple months of frustration with the wrong equipment, but it is definitely coming pretty close to playing a good standard of play now.

Why did I switch?

2009-02-01T23:04:00.002-06:00

This post wont be too long probably. Basically I am back to my old racquet that I had been using all summer and for years before I tried messing around and switching this winter. I had for the first time in months used it briefly in a practice match with the good 16 year old I play with, and although it felt better, I wasnt playing particularly better with the change right away. Since then for a few days though, Ive been hitting with it and its been great! Its been a large difference and I feel like I can hit and play much, much better now again. I should never have even switched I guess. Maybe it was worth trying just to know. I just am glad that tennis will be more fun to play again when I can do so competently and close to my potential. I guess ill get the real test and answer when I start playing practices matches again now with this racquet.

"They are only tools. Tools serve a fighting spirit. Tools are in the end useless without the spirit"

2009-01-21T22:58:00.005-06:00

Im so sick of not playing my best. I was beginning to play so well toward the end of this summer, and then I decided to try and change to a different racquet because I played bad a few days. Im not sure if that is a mistake, but all I know is that I havent been able to play to the best of my ability since probably August or September. I feel like Ive gotten used to the Microgel Prestige mid that Ive switched to now. I actually was playing what I thought was really well for a week with it. However, the strings on all 3 broke, and I had them restrung at the wrong tension by 6 pounds too high or more, maybe 8. Thats alot, and I feel like Im playing with a wooden paddle. And so maybe its never been a case about the new racquets all along since when I was trying new sticks, I was at the same time experimenting with a much higher string tension. Maybe its been the stupid decision of mine to string so tight all along. I mean, I can play "ok" at best or a little better with my racquets this way, but I seriously feel at a major loss on all aspects of my game with the huge difference in feel with the strings and racquet. Groundstrokes, volleys, serves, they all feel dead. Its tough psychologically on me also as Ive said too, day in and day out not be able to do what I used to be able to do on the court. Many people probably dont even realize a difference or know that I feel this way, but it is apparent in the results when I play against good players, and in the quality and consistency of my shots. Basically right now I need to get my racquets strung correctly ASAP and then hopefully I can realize thats been the issue and I can start playing my best tennis again. I actually think this racquet is going to help me in some ways with added power and control, sacrificing the larger and more forgiving headsize of my previous racquet. But I need something other than a frying pan setup to play tennis with if Im going to hit the ball clean, and with some power and spin.

Im going to be honest with myself and this journal about my progress toward my goals and new years resolutions. So far Ive been streaky, leaning moreso toward a fail. Ive put together a few days in a row here and there where I play and workout, and eat really well. But Ive put in way more days where I pout and eat junk and decide not to workout out of frustration and giving up. Also, Ive been staying up plenty late and havent done alot to change that yet. However, its getting to the point where my built up anger, frustration and dejection are building a fire for me. I can let go of all that I am, or think I am. My pride and ego are put aside. I feel at the bottom and can only work my way up. I could fall into obscurity and under the radar and press forward and improve step by step.

Every little certain thing reminds me of the chip on my shoulder I have, and carves it deeper. Every day that I hit below my standards, every time I lose to players I use to and should beat, when my opponents berate and mock my play, every person who directly to me judges my playing ability at a lower level, including one recently thats has never even seen me play a competitive match and possibly not even seen me hit one serious ball, every person who judges me or is rude to me in daily life itself is fueling my motivation. Part of it might be to prove people wrong, or bring justice for wrong done. But most of it is to prove to myself that I still have it. That im not too old, too injured, washed up, or simply not good enough. Many times, I simply just havent been good enough for people to give me respect in tennis, or life. Tennis is my way of fighting back, at all of this. I might not succeed, but I can write one thing that is for sure here. Barring another injury, and remembering what I went through last year not even being able to swing a racquet, Im soon going to devote my entire being to becoming the best tennis player I can be with the limited resources I have for that. Ive worked hard before and thats what counts and makes up for those limitations, but I can put so much more into it. All I need is a reason. I used to think I needed the high of playing well to continue and be motivated to put myself into it completely. Now at my low, I have nowhere else to go but all out for it.

New Year

2009-01-02T22:59:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I havent written in a while, and in all honesty the reason has been because I havent been having the best of times lately. Last entry I had talked of switching racquets after trying several and just starting to get accustomed to the Yonex. However, the racquet was somewhat poorly designed and was taking damage due to the grommets (top of the racquet frame guard) breaking off and wearing down very easily leaving the frame vulnerable to scraping. I sent them back and decided I needed to start trying racquets again and find something else that I could play well with and that wouldnt damage easily. I tried several again and found a few prospects, and also sought a sponsorship with the company, HEAD. Head responded very well to me and has offered me lots of equipment not only as a player, but they wanted to take it further and bring their merchandise to our tennis facility. I will be getting alot of stuff so that was a great Christmas gift in itself. However, I had been playing somewhere between poorly to below average every time I would take the court for the last month or more. Its been a long time since Ive played at my best and the level at which I performed this summer, and that had been continuously harder and harder on me mentally. I will have to admit that I had sort of slipped into a mini-depression for the last couple months or more. See, as Ive written before, when im not playing well, over and over without it getting better, it doesnt make me want to do everything I can to be my best or take care of myself. Basically, Ive been eating and drinking junk, getting little sleep, feeling down and stressed ever since I started to play poorly and try new racquets in late September. Im also not doing workouts and not getting to even play tennis nearly as much as I would like to. Chalk it up to trying to get used to new racquets, being in a slump, not getting enough practice or quality hitting, or a combination of all of it, but Im just not hitting the ball the way I can, or was. Mentally im still strong, although definitely my confidence and determination plummeted, and physically I have gone way down.

Fortunately, its nothing I cant change in my routine, and if I keep working at it and will myself to improve. I have started to feel more used to and accustomed to my racquet, and a few days ago before the new years holiday I played for a few hours one day and was playing rather well and better than I have in a long time. With this, it will hopefully just be a matter of time to feel even more comfortable with the racquet and play even better. However, with the new year there are several things I need to change to start doing what I used to and get back into shape, and even improve my game over what it was in 2008. These resolutions are:

1. Get to sleep in the 11pm-12am range, get up at 8-9am ish and get good sleep.
2. Limit myself to one soda every 2 weeks or less. Drink lots of water, gatorade, milk and juice
3. Learn and get in the habit of cooking simple things which will improve my diet, such as making eggs or spaghetti
4. Get to the grocery store and buy alot of good food to eat and limit my intake of junk food. (More fruit, vegetables, breads, cereals, pasta, meats and less eating out or junk)
5. Workout 5-6 days a week. Getting up in the morning and do sprint/endurance training before I go to work in the afternoon, do a weight/pushup routine in the afternoon or evening, and do core/ab work at night or before I go to bed. Progressively increase workload throughout the next 4 to 5 months.
6. Play tennis as much as possible by asking several people to get out there to hit or play matches. Schedule in advance and be persistent (6 days a week should be spent either doing a workout, tennis or both)
7. Develop a better serve (mainly a first serve), practice it after morning workouts when there are open courts, and incorporate into hitting sessions.

If I do all this, and I dont have any injury problems, I should be playing at my best again and improving within one month. As of now my left wrist for my backhand definitely can be sore/painful but it is manageable. As long as it doesnt get worse it shouldnt be a problem. I may have to do another cortisone injection in April if it does get worse. Christmas and everything was great, but far too short. It was nice to be home as Megan and I spent time and split the days between our families. We relaxed, ate good food and did alot of fun things. It was wonderful not having to work, but I have to go back pretty much for good again tommorow morning. I received plenty of awesome gifts, so I couldnt have possibly asked for more. I got a GPS which will likely keep me from getting lost whenever I have to drive to new places down here in the cities. Ive been getting alot of working hours which is great, and I still enjoy my job about 90% of the time. It can at times be fatiguing, or difficult to get a meal in around lessons, and I work 7 days a week now. Other than that its been alot of fun and rewarding. I only wish to get back into shape and start playing alot more tennis, which is my true passion. I will update soon, hopefully with good news of progress towards my goals and resolutions listed above.

Switched racquets

2008-11-18T13:40:00.003-06:00

Biggest news for me lately concerning my tennis (which is really alot of my life, and anyways mainly what this blog revolves around) is that I have switched racquets about a week ago. I now use the Yonex RQiS 1 Tour: http://www.tennis-warehouse.com/Reviews/RQIS1T/RQIS1TReview.html
It is quite a bit different than my old racquet. Im at a head size of 95 down from 107, and the weight is also about an ounce or more heavier with a greater headlight balance. I had been demoing quite a few racuets in the past month and this was the one that I liked the most. It had similar flexibility to my old racquet, and alot of control. It is as you can tell a much more demanding racquet than my previous one, and has taken some definite adjustment and getting used to. Besides just trying out the racquets for fun, I began to start getting into a slump in my play. Maybe it was all mental, maybe it was from using so many different racquets, and maybe its just because I hadnt been hitting as much to be able to play well. Anyways, I was getting very frustrated with how I was playing in general, especially against the 16 year old great player I train with about twice a week. I decided to just make the switch and make the best of it no matter how long it would take. I feel like im losing overall power for sure, and of course the feel is different and as I said much more demanding with the timing and centeredness of the hits, but Im gaining a fair amount of control, and possibly a heavier ball on the strokes and serve if I stay smooth and let the racquet do the work for me. I used to have to swing more violently with my old racquet since it was lighter, and it had more power as well, but I was able to control it and the head size obviously was much larger and mis-hitting shots was very rarely an issue as it now is with this smaller yonex racquet. Even after I made the switch a week or so ago, I still have not been playing at my best or the level at which I was at this summer, but it has gradually been getting better and better. Within the last couple days I feel like I have been playing pretty good, not great and not horrible, and I have won the practice matches although just simply not quite where I want to be yet. I think it will come though, but man I was getting very very frustrated and down about the way I was playing about a week or two ago!

Theres no tournaments around here like I said, which sucks. Its hard enough finding people to play with to hit or play practice sets, but no tournaments and just practice/ workouts can be boring. Hopefully I can continue to improve my play and get back to where I was. Work has been very busy which is good, but tiring. The week of Thanksgiving however we do not have junior drills, and Im taking the weekend completely off to go home, so it will definitely be much needed rest and be fun.

Feeling good again

2008-10-28T20:43:00.004-05:00

Its been an interesting few weeks this month. As I had mentioned last entry, my left wrist had gotten to the point where it was actually too painful to hit two-handed backhands. So I went to get the cortisone injection about a week ago, this one being my 3rd into the left wrist from the tendinitis I developed there since it began 2 years ago. It is a result of experimenting with different technique on the backhand, putting too much strain on the left wrist. Anyways, unfortunately I felt no immediate relief after this injection the way I had the 2 times before, and even several days later when it is supposed to kick in fully and be completely pain free, I felt almost no difference. This was hard to take for a while because I know without a good backhand, theres no way I can compete at the same level. I knew a change needed to be made or else I would forever have to result to hitting weak slice backhands. I first tried changing my grip for a couple days, and realized that there was no way I could hit the backhand well with such an extreme change to the way Ive been hitting it my whole life. And I already knew I could not hit even a decent one-handed topspin backhand, much less an effective one.

So really this was just one more thing I needed during a time when I was kind of already a mess and pulling my hair out. Ever since my last tournament end of August, I have almost literally had nobody to hit with other than once a week, twice at the most, from someone who was used to playing almost every day all summer. With my job, im usually starting work at 3:30 in the afternoon. People are at work or school since summer is over, and so I cant get people to hit before work, and then im working until late. There arent many players around to push me, but ill settle for hitting with anyone that can just hit the ball back and forth thats willing to let me rip it, but I havent been able to get many people to do so except on rare occasion. In other words, not training and not getting exercise makes me go crazy. So since Ive had no tournaments and havent been hitting, the last couple months Ive also let myself slip from the mini-depression and I havent been doing my workouts, been eating junk, going to bed on average around 2 in the morning, and just have been extremely bored and lonely since Megan, my family and most friends are not ever around here with me. And now with that wrist pain and the prospect of not hitting backhands ever again without some kind of surgery, its not been a fun time.

Well, I finally found a way to hit my backhand without having any pain. It the became a matter of being able to hit it well. While I dont think Im able to hit it quite as well since Im more or less just trying to make it a consistent shot without nearly as much spin as before, I have found that it is consistent enough that it shouldnt make too much difference. I just cant hit it with as much spin, or maybe go for quite as much. By changing my playing style and running around to hit forehands more, I should be able to play well still. This actually is something Ive begun to do anyways this last summer, since I have turned my forehand into my best shot and a weapon, so I need to do it more anyway. I intend to be even better for next year than the last. And now that my pain issues are over, for the time being anyways (knock knock), Im feeling very good enough to start doing things right and train all fall and winter. Its hard to treat yourself well if you dont feel good about yourself. Im planning to go to bed much earlier, eat better, workout alot, improve my serve and try to play seriously hopefully4-5 times a week. Fortunately and luckily enough for me, the really good 16 year old player Ive mentioned, who does homeschooling on the internet, can play with me before my work starts. While we have been playing only once a week so far, Ive made my intentions known that I would play 7 days a week if he were willing. So now that all those aspects of training are covered, and being injury free, it should just be a matter of time and effort on my part to commit to these things. Today I played a match with him pain free and was able to hit the backhand well enough, and use the rest of my game as my strengths. It felt good, and was exactly the kickstart I needed to get back into good habits. After my first day of lifting after a long time off, my arms are very sore. Hopefully in a month or so I will be in full gear and getting stronger, faster and better. By May I hope to once again be an improved player over the previous year, despite all the problems Ive had with my wrists. I cant believe how well everything seems to turn out no matter how far I plunge down.

League nationals and other stuff

2008-10-06T23:14:00.002-05:00

I havent written in a while just out of laziness. Some things have been going on; not alot, but enough where Im going to forget to include some things Im sure in this blog. I havent been playing much tennis due to simply working alot and not being able to go full out when teaching, and also just not really having anyone to hit with either. Our team went out to Palm Springs CA for the 5.0 league nationals and I was pretty rusty but played well enough to win all my singles matches despite playing poorly. There also are some good players from the other sections. Our team went 2-2 which is pretty good, but we definitely were close and had chances to go 3-1 or 4-0. The trip was fun in being able to play on the courts where the pro tournament is held out there. The thing that was very unfun was that it was extremely HOT. Basically you know it will be hot when at midnight or 6:30am it is 80 some degrees. Once it got to late morning and early afternoon it was between 105-112 degrees and we were playing in this! The other bad thing that happened in the last couple hours or so of my time there was while packing up my stuffed bag I stupidly tried to force the bag shut with my shoulder in a somewhat awkward and vulnerable position, and I sort of felt it give out or something. It has been bothering me while teaching and playing as well for the week since I got back, but Im hoping with some ice and rest it will heal. Luckily, I dont have any tournaments until May, although I hate that fact and will probably be bored all fall and winter. It is still no fun because I would really like to work out and play tennis hard during this time to maintain and imrpove my game. If that werent enough, it seems my shot for my left wrist must have worn off again, as it has been extremely sore and Im very shy of hitting backhands now because of this. Im either going to need to get another shot, or figure out some way to heal this. I dont think the latter will happen after 2 years now, and both times I got the shot its made it feel good for about a 5-6 month time period. Hopefully I can just keep continually getting the shot then I guess...

Theres not really much more to say really when I think about it. I went to a wedding of Megan's friend last weekend, Ive seen a handful of disappointing movies lately, and Ive been busier with work which hopefully will continue and increase. Im extremely bored and lonely outside of work even though its relaxing, because its just me and my cat and I dont really have much to do. I dont like to watch TV; I need to constantly be engaged in a game or something or I get down. Hoping to heal up in a couple weeks and start working out and playing more, but we'll see.

Winnipeg videos

2008-09-09T00:22:00.002-05:00

I got a DVD from the tournament director of the Winnipeg tournament which has the doubles final match I played in on it that was aired on their television network up there. Its pretty cool so I made two video clips of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fmLnL6FhwY 3-3 first set
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fHU90M0nuk 4-5 down a break 2nd set

Other than that its been a slower week for teaching since we were inbetween the summer and fall sessions. Ive been playing some tennis fairly regularly again after taking a break since the clay tournament for about a week until just after Labor day. Ive hit with a guy on my league team that hits a very big forehand and serve, also Ive hit a couple times with a senior on the St Johns team who is a pretty decent player and a hard worker, and just recently have been hitting with the 16 year old phenom here in Minnesota that has won the class AA state tournament and is one of the best players in the nation. He is very serious with his game and is even doing online classes instead of traditional school now so he can focus more on improving his game by hitting alot and even hoping to play some international tournaments. It seems like we might plan to hit somewhat regularly, or at least a couple times a week so that will be very nice for us both. I need good players to hit with because im pretty busy now and also I need people who can push me as much as possible in matches. Even though I win relatively easily against him, Ive got 8 years on him in experience and strength/growth so I know that it will probably be just a matter of time as he improves until he will be very competitive with me and capable of beating me within a year or two.

Playing with him magnified one of the things that has been on my mind since after the clay tournament and the tournament season being over, with there really being no tournaments until next summer. Ive got a job now so I cant travel all over the US or to other countries to play the low level pro tournaments, and its realistically not even feasible for me anyways since there are so many great players all over and there is no money to be made in this sport outside of the very elite. Im getting old, out of college, and Im basically at the top of the ladder in the Northern section now, so where do I have to go now? I just wanted my wrist back so I could play well again, and thats all happened for me. Its absolutely amazing. But, for all my life ive been working hard to improve and to get somewhere with my tennis. What can I go after now, what can my competitive drive and desire be put to use to? What would the point be in me working out extremely hard, and/or trying to improve a skill in my game? Its something Ive been struggling with, its not like it used to be when I was a "kid". I feel old now, and like my run is over. All I can really do now it seems is to try to win the Open tournaments Ive been playing the last few years. Ive been able to do that the last two years and have only lost a couple times, so should my goal now be to never lose? I just have a hard time not having something to aspire to and go after. Thats why I envy a kid like this with the whole world to go after at only 16 years old. I wish I had the experience that I have now, when I was his age. I was just raw back then when I compare myself now to when I was 16. Every specific aspect you could think of was completely lacking compared to now by far, although physically I am really not much different now than I was when I was 16, 17, 18 or whatever years of age. In other words, I believe I could have been playing like I am now 8 years ago had I been in an environment similar to what Ive had in the last 6 years.

Maybe I should try a Futures tournament some time again someday. And really, it would simply be to test myself, and best scenario would be that maybe I could qualify and get an ATP point or whatever. That is a goal, that would be cool I guess. I guess I can still do better in the Open tournaments around here. Theres still some tournaments I havent won and I lost some matches this year. Maybe if I work hard I can get even better, and try to not lose at all. I think maybe Im just struggling with these things, and growing up and getting older in general, and maybe really all that has driven me all along is the love for the game, having fun, trying to simply be the best I can be, and to keep getting better every year rather than get anywhere specific. Ive had some goals, but at the same time they maybe come about on their own when the work is done. I just cant not do what Ive been doing, as Ive written a long time ago in this journal. Its what I know. But I stop and pause thinking about something like this; "why should I do it, and what for?". And now that Ive thought about it, my plan is to play as much as I can and workout harder than ever this fall and winter. Teaching and playing tennis, its the life.

Conquered the clay!

2008-08-25T08:19:00.003-05:00

I had an amazing weekend. It was the perfect way to cap off this summer of tennis. I had the clay court sectionals and played some of my best tennis pretty much the whole way through the draw. Im very inexperienced on clay, and hadnt played on it for 2 years, so it means that much more to win this tournament since because of my injury I was unable to play this tournament last year. A year ago from this weekend, I was recovering from my surgery with a cast on and in a bed in misery with pain, and sleeping all day. I was able to beat the guy who I lost my league singles match to in May when I was still serving underhanded, then I beat a guy who a few years ago was the best player in our section, and in the finals I beat another really good player who I had lost to in both of our matches we played a couple years ago.
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=65079&E=1
At times in the quarters and semis, I was a little shaky but still played very good tennis. But in the finals, I played just about as good as I could play. Everything was feeling good and I fought hard and aggressively. It was alot of fun and quite a lot of people came to watch the match. We even had ball kids. It was a fun weekend also with Megan and both of our parents coming down to spend time here and watch. Megan's sister's baby had a surgery down here and everything went well with that too. This summer has been amazing to me. I didnt expect to be even able to serve this summer, much less play at or above my level before the injury happened. I got to the finals or won almost every tournament I played this year, and had alot of good wins and played some extremely good players closely. Its more than I could have imagined several months ago when I was in the physical therapy stage trying to rehab my wrist. All the time working on that, and patience, paid off so that I could do what I am now. As long as I am physically able, I am going to continue to do this. I love it.

The only sad thing then is because this was the last tournament of the summer, and there really arent any tournaments at all until next May! There are a couple here and there scattered throughout the fall and winter but pretty much the tournaments are over until next summer then. I may have mentioned this in an earlier entry, but our league team got 2nd in the playoffs. Since the first place team is unuable to send enough people to go to nationals, our team got the invite and we are headed to Palm Springs California to play on the courts of Indian Wells or otherwise known as the Pacific Life Open! This is the end of September. So that is something to look forward to and will be fun, assuming my boss will let me off work again. Otherwise, my goal again is to play as much as I can this fall and winter, and work out alot to improve my game for next year. I will be working alot with the indoor tennis season coming up as it gets colder and snows. That would be a good thing I guess. I dont think I have work this coming labor day weekend so I should be able to go home and have fun.

8/3/2007

2008-08-06T22:20:00.005-05:00

Bismark tournament went well, I won the singles and my partner and I won the doubles
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=63595&E=5
Now I dont have much for tournaments coming up for a very long time, pretty much until next May. Our league team has the sectional playoffs for qualifying to nationals next weekend, and after that the next weekend is the clay court sectional. It will be nice to have a little break as Im a bit worn out and my back has been hurting lately from serving. But soon after, my goal is to work really hard on my workouts and my tennis all fall and winter so that I am even better for next summer. I can only hope I remain injury free.

The Bismark weekend included the one year anniversary of when I injured myself in the Milwaukee Futures tournament. August 3rd of last year. I think I wrote about this in one of my very first entries on this blog, but Im going to write some things I remember about it again. I was up 6-0 5-0 when it happened. On that last changeover before the injury, I got to talking to my opponent about an ironic thing. I was crushing him, but he was a real nice guy. We had a friendly conversation, and I told him these professional Futures tournaments have so many good players, and almost none of them will make it into the big leagues, which is why I knowing this play all these tournaments for fun and the love of the game. All of that would come to an end on the very next point when I went up for a jumping overhead smash that was way up in the air. I completely whiffed the ball, and my wrist snapped too far and I felt and heard something in it. I had previously hurt it the last October in a freak way by hitting a backhand volley in an awkward position, so since it was already weakened this finally was my undoing. I had no idea of course what happened to it, but I knew I had a huge problem. It felt like it was broken somehow. It would only be a matter of a couple weeks when I would have surgery on August 22. I think I will write more about that and my recovery time when that date comes around, but I definitely remembered what happened a year ago, and I simply cant believe where I am at now after all that has happened since. I am really grateful for the way I have healed and recovered and did not imagine, even as recently ago as March or April, that I would be playing my best tennis again this quickly, or if ever.

This weekend I will have off finally, as I am going home and out to Aberdeen for Megan's brother's baby's shower (EDIT: NOT baby shower, baby *baptism*... lol I keep wanting to say shower, which probably would seem very weird for me to be at). Planning to play some tennis with Megan after not having done so for maybe 2 years, go to a movie, a zoo, a dentist checkup, relax and have fun.

Aquatennial and Sioux Falls, Bismark next, then hopefully a break

2008-07-28T16:16:00.004-05:00

The Aquatennial tournament was great. I wasnt able to play my first round match at the regular grounds due to rain which was a bummer, so we went indoors to the UofM and I played pretty well and won easily. The semifinal was going to possibly be against the #2 seed who I have lost twice to before in close matches a couple years ago, but he lost. The kid that beat him was the same who I played and beat in the semis of the UofM Sectional tournament this June. The punk kid with an ego and poor attitude in other words. So I played him on the regular grounds which was alot of fun, and I played very well and won 6-2 6-1. Lots of pretty good points and somewhat close games but I was much more aggressive than him and I ended up winning most of the battles. He was extremely frustrated during and especially after the match when he basically broke a racket and swore loudly for many people watching to hear. Pretty embarassing I would think.

The finals also turned out to be a surprise opponent. The Israel player and #1 seed lost in 3 sets to a former UofM #1 singles player who has been graduated for a year or two. Anyways, I had never played him before or even really seen him play so didnt know what to expect. By results, I knew he would be very tough just like the other guy. What I didnt expect was for him to be playing better than he was in college, or having a really good day out there, which is what he himself and others told me later after the match. I would say I played good at times but at other times throughout the match, especially in the first set, I was below my average play. Thats mainly attributed to being nervous, the court conditions (slippery surface so I could not move as well, shiny glare) and him simply being a great player. I ended up losing 6-1 6-4. I was right with him on groundstrokes as I normally am with anyone I am up against, although I didnt hit particularly well this match, but the biggest difference was the serve. He had a huge serve and was hardly missing first serves throughout both sets. I really felt at a loss for what to do. I was never able to really get comfotable out there at all, and with every return game going like that did not make it easy for me to get anything going. He definitely made my opponent from last years final seem "easy". It was alot of fun as there were many people there to watch, including many that I knew personally from work, friends and family. It means alot. The tournament itself is very special as I said in my last entry, because I won this tournament a year ago not long before my injury, and getting back to this point was something I thought about alot in my time away from the game. It feels real good to be back and playing well!

I went right from there to the Sioux Falls tournament.
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=62620&E=1
Once again, the big dog showed up, although his brother did not. I played against the #1 seed's older brother last year in the semi's and split sets with him and completely out played him, had match points, before I again ran out of steam from all the tennis I play all summer with practically zero break. It was nice to be playing on a regular court again after the Aquatennial weird surface, and I was definitely playing a considerable amount better because of this. I won my first 3 matches against decent players fairly easily before getting to the finals with the #1 seed. He is without a doubt the best player I have ever played against. He played #1 for Stanford this last year as a freshman, and was ranked #2 in Division 1 tennis almost all year. He got to the semifinals of the individual championships at the end of the year before losing to the two time champion who was a senior in a close match. Anyways, He had a big time serve just like the guy from the Aquatennial tournament, but he also had an absolutely humongous forehand. He is the only player I have ever played against who hit forehand winners that made me just amazed at. A type of ball that has never been seen in person. It really is a difference. This kid has the talent to be big time I think. Possibly a top 50 player in the world, it will all depend on how hard he works I guess. Anyways, I played pretty well in the first set and fought pretty hard despite not being able to control the times when he would just uncork a forehand winner from anywhere on the court, and in the second set I literally hit the wall again. I was completely out of energy, but I wasnt going to quit. I am disappointed that I wasnt able to keep fighting as I may have been able to get an extra 1 or 2 games possibly, but either way this guy was out of my league. The score was 6-3 6-2, so I guess overall it is a respectable score for me going against a player of the cailber. If I had a better serve like these last two guys I played in these tournament finals, I think I would be capable of beating them on any given day. It would take alot of thought and practice to do so, as well as if my wrist will hold up, but it may be a project for the fall and winter.
EDIT: I forgot to even write that my partner and I won the doubles! Him and I still have not lost a match there in 3 years, actually we havent lost a set. We were up 5-0 first set in the finals though and only ended up winning it 7-5!

Next I have a relatively small tournament in Bismark where none of the top players play, but its a tournament none the less and I like to play, and it has some prize money. After that I am really looking forward to a break. I wont have another tournament for a few weeks I dont think, and then after August there really isnt anything. My back has been getting really sore from serving, so I will need to let that rest for a few weeks minimum to heal.

Winnipeg thoughts, Aquatennial next

2008-07-16T16:29:00.002-05:00

The Winnipeg tournament was fun and went pretty well. I have felt like I am starting to play as well as I can again. I had 7 total matches out there and I won 6 of them. We won the doubles without losing a set. My partner is a very good player and so we worked really well together. The doubles final was also televised, so I am going to get a copy of that and it will be fun to watch. In singles, I lost to my doubles partner (the #2 seed) in the quarterfinals, and then they had a back-draw for the quarterfinal losers and I beat the #3 and #1 seeds pretty easily to win 5th. I was very angry during and after my loss in singles because the winds were 50 or more mph, that is not an exaggeration. It was really not even close to normal tennis as the ball, along with signs, chairs, and what ever else, was blowing all over the place. They had indoor facilities as well so I was very frustrated and angry that we werent inside and I was not able to play well enough to stay in the match and have a chance to win. Its the same for both players of course, but I feel if we had different conditions than a tornado we would have had a better match and I may have had a chance of winning. However, he is a very good player so there is no shame in losing to him of course, and he should have won the tournament had he not played poorly in the last two sets of the finals.

Our league team qualified last night for the sectional championship by winning again for our 5th time in a row. It was 95 degrees out, and I was still very tired and sore from the long weekend and working the last two days, but I was able to gut out a win against a very good #1 player from Gustavus in 2 close sets. Neither of us played very well, and part of it also was because we were using some wack off-brand tennis balls that are nothing like whats normal, as they were a bit lighter and had no hair after too long so shots sailed alot, but whatever. Other than last night Ive been playing good tennis, and a win is a win.

The Aquatennial tournament starts for me tommorow. The matches are pretty spread out, as the next rounds would be next Tuesday and Friday for the finals.
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/Draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=64689&E=1
If I play well, I should have a good chance of getting to the finals, where I would meet up again with the Israel player who will be at the UofM this coming year. I would like another shot at him since I am playing much better now than before, but the semifinal will probably be a tough test. Im really looking forward to that tournament; it doesnt seem like a year has passed at all. It was only a couple weeks after that I injured my wrist. Winning that tournament last year is one of my best memories. I beat some very good players, and the atmosphere there is like nothing else. I still have my old navyblue shoes I was wearing last summer and there, and I havent worn them since my injury. Im going to wear them this tournament for fun and make them more of a souvenir, probably keep them somewhere. Other than that, the new Batman movie comes out Friday so I want to see that. Another Canada tournament and the Sioux Falls tournament are at the same time this year, so I havent been sure which one I want to play, but Im leaning toward Sioux Falls now since we have family there and its not as far away; it would be more fun for all of us I think even though the other one has a big prize pool. I will probably journal next either after I lose or if I make it all the way to the final of the Aquatennial. The final is a very big goal of mine that Ive thought about since being injured. I thought Id miss it this year, but now here I am with a chance to do it again after all my wrist has put me through.

July 4th fun, Canada soon

2008-07-08T23:27:00.002-05:00

The July 4th weekend was really good. I had alot of fun and finally got to go home which is rare for me these days with work and being far away. I had planned to get some rest but that didnt really happen as I played tennis a couple times, and didnt get much sleep any of the days. Its always fun going to Megan's family celebration for the 4th as we do alot of yard games, grilling, 4-wheeling, gun shooting and stuff. My cat got a couple shots which turned out horribly as she had some kind of allergic reaction to them or something. She puked possibly 30 times which was very hard and sad for me to watch. She got some more shots to calm that down which made her very cranky and drowsy. Now she is back to normal thankfully and wont need those shots for a long time (although she really doesnt even need them at all).

I won a big league match for our team today, against a player who I had actually never beaten before strangely enough, as I was in complete control and won fairly easily 6-1 6-2. Our team has also been winning overall lately against the best teams and we may have a shot to advance to the section playoff or even nationals. The Wimbledon mens final was an amazing match between Nadal and Federer, which saw Nadal come out on top in 5 sets. It is also something significant, as it very much takes away from Federer's previous status of being the greatest ever and completely dominant. Federer will likely have alot of difficulty from now on winning slams and acheiving that "greatest of all time" recognition, as he seems to be in a slump compared to his previous form. Players like Nadal and Djokovic seem to be improving.

My tournament in Winnipeg, Canada, will start this Friday and im really excited for it. With $15,000 in total prize money there is alot to be ready for. there are alot of good players and new faces this year. I ended up being seeded 8th. But in my opinion, the seedings are completely inaccurate, as I would say the #1 seed is not very good, and two of the middle seeds are the best. I happened to get what I think is an excellent draw, as most of the best players were placed into the opposite half of the bracket. I think if I can play well, I have a decent chance of making the finals. I havent seen many of the guys ever play so it is hard to say at this point, but from looking at results, there is no reason to think I cant do it. I requested a doubles player, and I got a good one with the #2 seed in singles, who is actually who I will need to beat in my second match. I think there also we have a good chance to go far. It will be tough and odds are about as likely that I could lose my second match to him and lose early in doubles but its exciting because of the possibilities. Will be fun regardless since Megan is coming, and the tournament is well run. Last year in the quarters they had full time line judges assigned to each line to call! Here is a link to the tournament site with the draws, and I will journal when I get back on how it went.
http://www.tennismanitoba.com/tournaments/mbopen/mbopen.html

Tournament win

2008-06-30T21:11:00.004-05:00

A week ago I made it to the finals of the Sectional. Overall I wasnt playing my best, but at times I was starting to find some good form of the past. I played fairly well in my semifinal in the first set but then had to scrap out the 2nd. It was a nice win considering the kid is a classic spoiled tennis jerk. In the finals I played the guy from Israel who has been ranked apparently as high as 400-something in the world. I played alright at times but didnt play within my game. He was a great player however, and simply had too many powering weapons. It would take my very best game to even have a chance to beat him.
This last weekend I played a tournament in Rapid City, which is 9 hours away. I had a good draw, and although I did not feel like I was playing well, I was mentally my strongest Ive been at so far this summer and didnt lose any matches there. Ive played that tournament 3 years now, and it is always very difficult to get used to the difference in elevation, making the game a fair amount different, at least to me anyways. I just tried to adjust and I did pretty well even though I was missing shots long and wide more than I usually would. I had a 3 set singles final, although I had a match point and other opportunities to close it out in 2 sets. My opponent was the #1 player in the section for 16's as a first year 15 year old, and he is also doing well at national tournaments. So very impressive for him, he might turn out to be a really great player. At the same time, I really think without the conditions I would beat him in 2 sets and only lose a handful of games. Good news and bottom line is Im improving, and hopefully with some time I will be back to where I was before my injury.
It wasnt 100's temperature like it was the 2 years before, but the final match was high 80's at least, so it was fairly hot, and my face got very burned and hurts. I was feeling some fatigue after the 2nd set, but after a short break going into the 3rd set I actually felt alright. We didnt play the doubles final and split the money 4 ways there, but it still was so late that I didnt get home until 4am, and I had to go to work at 8:30am. So im really tired right now and need to go to bed early, since im still getting up early, teaching, and playing all week. I have gotten pretty sore in the shoulder, abs, and lower back but Im certain its due to the lack of serving in so long, and I feel like I am in good shape. The wrist can get sore but it is doing real well, especially considering I can serve and play close to normal again.
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?T=65472
http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/articles/2008/06/29/sports/doc4868510a68a6b774420615.txt
I dont have a tournament next weekend for July 4th, so it will be really nice to relax and just have fun with family. I have an important league match tommorow though, and then the weekend after the 4th I go to Winnipeg (Canada) for the largest prize money tournament of the year.

Serve is back, Sectional tournament this weekend

2008-06-18T14:51:00.003-05:00

Some pretty amazing news for me this week I guess. After I taught a serving lesson with a kid the other day, I just decided I would hit a couple myself and see what it would feel like this time. It didnt feel too bad! I decided to keep going and serve out a basket. Since then Ive practiced a couple more times, and served in a match (5.0 league) for the first time since I injured myself last year in August. Im not serving as hard as I am able to or used to, but it definitely is alot better than serving underhanded. My wrist has gotten a little sore from doing this, but it seems to me that I shouldnt have to fear a reinjury just from the act of serving. Im going to take it gradually too and not try to serve very hard for a while. The thing that has really been sore has been my shoulder and abs. Must be because I havent done any serves with that motion or certain muscles for so long, because they have never hurt like this. But theyve recovered fast so I think it wont even be an issue anymore. I never imagined I would be where I am right now, playing like I am at this point in time. Im still not my very best, but I have to say I am playing pretty well again now. Im just going to play as hard as I can while I am physically able to, enjoy it, and not worry about anything else going wrong or getting injured.

On a sad note, which also puts my whole situation into perspective, my uncle was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer recently. It is scary to think about how many of us, statistically, will get some form of cancer. And it can happen to anyone it seems. There are measures we can take to prevent it in certain ways, but from what I can tell its just as well that a healthy person's cell mutation goes wrong and then theres trouble. I hope that he will be able to receive the best of treatment and battle through it. The family has requested for prayer, and hopefully they will be able to be strong through it and in the end as well.

The sectional tournament is this weekend at the UofM. Its not a very big or deep field, but there are some tough players. The way I see it, I should be seeded 2nd, if not 3rd (Edit: I am #2). The player I lost my 5.0 league match to a few weeks ago will be there (Edit: they didnt seed him, but he ended up on my half). Again, he is very dangerous with a huge serve and great placement, moves fairly well, and is consistent from the baseline on both sides. Also, there is a player about my age from Israel who has been ranked as high as 500-something in the world ATP. Im assuming he is here because he is an incoming freshman for the Gophers, and he wasnt cutting it in pro tennis. Here is the link to the draw:
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/draws/EventDraw.aspx?T=66594&E=17

The Celtics won the NBA championship last night. I am very happy for the whole team, in particular Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. Ive always felt they are so deserving as players and individuals to win and be honored. What struck me the most is when a championship is finally won by pro tennis, football, basketball (etc) players. You can see how much excitement, relief and emotion come out. They have worked so hard, so much harder than any of us know, and have battled through so much, and finally the ultimate prize has been achieved that so very few of them actually are awarded. It is for that moment of being a champion that the entire process of getting there becomes so valuable, and why it is necessary and worth it. That moment that could be is what an athlete should have on their mind, keeping sight of the goal, through all the practices and matches. If a person needs that moment enough, they will do anything they have to, to make it possible.

Iowa tournament

2008-06-08T20:34:00.003-05:00

Was a fun weekend. Went down with my mom and we were able to talk alot, went to dinner a couple times and a movie. First two matches were pretty easy, and then the semi-finals was against the Drake #1 player who I played last year. He had a good year apparently and was ranked as high as #16 in Division 1 tennis this spring, ending up something like 60 or better. As I might have mentioned in my previous entry, he plays almost an identical game to the guy I lost to in my league match last Tuesday. In other words, really big serve, and steady consistent groundstrokes without really going for too much offense.

I played pretty well actually, and we had alot of very long, hard baseline points. Again, it came down to being at a severe disadvantage with the serve. A player with a good serve is getting free points and only has to win often 2 or less legitimate points/rallies in their serve games, whereas with my underhand serve I need to work to win 4 points every game. It came down to a couple breaks in two close sets but I was not able to capitilize on enough opportunities and lost 6-3 6-4. I was happy I played well though, just needed to play a little better and it was definitely a winnable match despite my handicap. My only problem with this match is this guy. We went through the same thing last year when I played him actually. He cheated several times on line calls, and by the 5th or 6th time I was certain enough that it was happening that I had to get an umpire out there for it. I should have done it alot earlier probably, because after that there were not any bad calls from him. Lots of trash talking going on at this stage of the match, and even afterwards, but its a long story. To recap the match some more in short, The one time I broke his serve in the match was very early after going down 0-2 to be serving at 1-2, up 40-0 with the chance to obviously even it up at 2-2. He called two balls close to the baseline out, and I ended up losing the game and then the next on his serve to go down 1-4. Thats a HUGE difference between serving at 2-3 or if I could have even used some momentum and gone ahead that early in the match. Other calls were here and there, and I ended up getting the umpire immediately on a call to go down 1-3 serving in the 2nd set. So basically I broke his serve one time and I think he got me 3 times if that adds up. Toward the end of the match I had a break point or two at 3-4 to even it up but was unable to do it. I got a little money to cover the expenses of the trip, and im hoping I can continue to get better this summer.
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?T=67812

Tommorow we start our summer sessions of tennis, so I will be busy during the weekdays starting early in the morning. It will be nice to get alot more working hours, and hopefully some lessons. Im hoping I will still have time and be able to find hitting partners outside of work. My next tournament is not for another 2 weeks. Im hoping to do alot of hard conditioning between now and then so I am more prepared for tough matches and the brutal summer heat. I am without a cellphone for another week. Lilly chewed up my charger for some time and made it so that when I charged my phone, I had to sort of yank the cord out of the phone and it must have damaged it. Hoping to get all of that taken care of soon. Celtics are up 1-0 in the NBA Finals and are in game 2 right now.

Humbling match, but good for me

2008-06-03T22:57:00.003-05:00

Tonight I had a league match. In the 3 years Ive been playing in the 5.0 league to get some practice matches, I havent ever lost, and usually theyre pretty easy. Tonight I lost my first one. Basically, I went into it not knowing who the guy was and expected a somewhat easy match that id just cruise through. It wasnt until after the match that I figured out who it was. The whole time I was wondering "who is this guy, where is he from, and where does/did he play college tennis??". Turns out he is a little younger than me, and won the MN class AA state singles tournament a few years ago. I had heard his name before but had never seen him play until tonight.

Well he served the first game, and it was like, yeah thats pretty good. If he doesnt have the best serve ive played against, it must be in the top 3. First serve probably in the 120's range with good placement. Everything else was fairly solid and he moved pretty well. I was better off the baseline but I was missing a little bit more than I usually do, and against a serve like that I need to be sharp with the groundstrokes the whole way through. Lots of pressure, espeially when I cant serve well and have to defend that basically with my gimp wrist. I had chances to break his serve a couple times that I let slip away, although I did end up breaking him about 2 times i think. Problem is he got mine 2 or 3 times. Missed some easy balls that shouldnt have been missed and such. I was very frustrated out there, and I think if I play a little sharper and have the chance to be ready to go and mentally prepared from the start, I would be able to win most of the time against him even with my wrist handicap. I was impressed with his game though, again great serve, solid play and moved well. Just need to start playing a little better with my groundstrokes, which mainly is an issue of focus and mental toughness which I have lost since my injury and not competing for so long. This could be a frustrating summer if I continually lose tennis matches to good players. Its nice to think that its great to be able to play pretty well at all right now, but as a competitor out there I am still trying to win with what Ive got and I feel like I can still win despite not having a decent serve right now. I need to get very focused and try to do well with what Im able to do.

I almost hit a deer on my way home. It was running in the median and was darting in and out trying to decide when to go across I guess. I just came to a complete stop and it then ran across and went in front of some other cars and made it safely. Alright well my tournament is this weekend, so hopefully I will take my losses as a lesson and win the next time I play a tough opponent.

The Strangers, Iowa tournament in a week

2008-06-01T18:40:00.003-05:00

Ive been playing well and working out regularly, so barring any injuries or getting sick again like I did last week, Id say I have a good shot to beat anyone I play this summer and win any tournament Im in. It will be especially tough however without a normal serve, and theres lots of good players around, but we'll see how it goes. Im very excited for this summer since I should be getting alot of coaching hours with drills and lessons. And also the tournaments.

I love competing, and especially now more than ever like being out there at all after thinking I had no shot to play this summer or ever play like I used to again. One of the best players Ive played in particular sort of scoffed at the idea of playing the Open tournaments around here a couple years ago, because: #1 he wants to think, and others to think, he is too good to play in them (although he played in some anyways usually), #2 because of the resignation that there is no living/job to be made out of playing tennis unless you are among the very elite in the world, and #3 because he quite simply does not enjoy tennis (good players often have the situation where they are somewhat forced into the game, play for the wrong reasons and motivations, never living up to others and their own expectations, etc). Im very much the opposite fortunately. First, Ill really play anyone and anywhere... otherwise isnt it running away or protecting an ego? In some ways it would be good for me to practice with people at my level or better, and I never get that. But im actually still getting better because Im working as hard as I can and simply hitting alot of balls. And usually its practice with a friend and so it is fun too. Also, although Im not going to be a pro or make a living off of playing tennis, basically all the tournaments im playing in pay out anywhere between $500-$2000 for the winner, and some for 2nd and semi-finalists too. I think thats a fairly nice little goal to be playing for wouldnt you think? And finally, I really dont care that Im not a pro or that theres lots of people better than me. Im only concerned with being the best that I can be and working my way up. Im way too competitive to look down upon Open tournaments and not play them because 'I had dreams about being a pro and they never came true'. I want to win every single one of the Open tournaments im playing this summer and thats my goal. and maybe someday ill get back to trying to play some Futures tournaments again and go as far as I can. So clearly, its not about making millions of dollars or the status. Its love of the game and competition. This guy I was talking about, says he doesnt want to ever play tennis again after he finished college tennis. How sad is that? It explains alot though, considering he was always so angry, being a jerk, and fighting with people all the time. Its also sad people will always remember him for those things first, and secondly for "being a good player". Anyways, its just a great game and clearly im addicted to it. Especially now with teaching too, Im getting even more out of it. I wish some of these great players would realize what is more important. Im as competitive as a person gets, and I can tell you there is absolutely no advantage or need to do what some of these people are doing out there, and they are simply being a disgrace as a human being. Its probably not fun for people to watch me yell when I get frustrated, but I have no intention of doing or saying anything malicious to my opponent. I just want to play well and win with my game. Unfortunately once you get to the higher levels, this sport has alot of people that are jerks and will do things outside of the actual tennis to attempt to win. Thats the nature of an individual competition and puts out on display a person's character I guess.

Saw "The Strangers" movie a couple times recently. I love scary movies; really anything suspenseful is very entertaining for me. This movie was one of the best Ive seen for lacking in jumpy scenes and gore and being very eery and suspenseful the entire way. I do not like the ending so much, but it had to follow what we knew was coming somehow. The director of this movie made this very atypical of other scary movies and did things in ways that havent been seen much or ever before. This makes it even more great. Some people dont like these movies because they think it will really happen to them or get nightmares or whatever, and need to get a grip! Also I can assure you seeing these kinds of movies is not turning me into a sadistic killer. Its all about the intensity and suspense of the story.

Also, havent said much about this in a while, but the Celtics have won through to the NBA Finals. Im really pulling for them because Kevin Garnett is one of my favorite athletes. They play the Lakers and the first game of the series starts Thursday. Ive hardly been watching the French Open on TV, im hoping I can see more of it. Im not too partial to anyone to win; a couple of my favorites are somewhat long shots (Hewitt, Davydenko). Id like to see Nadal win again, and I would definitely like to see Djokovic lose.

Food poisoning and first tournament

2008-05-26T19:23:00.002-05:00

Last Tuesday's league match they threw another lamb at singles, so I played doubles that night since I knew they were going to do that. Played a good team and lost but the team won. Anyways, that night I started feeling not very good in the stomach after I ate dinner. I woke up and felt pretty bad. I wont paint you a picture exactly but when I went to the bathroom it was basically alot of water. Mainly I had a pretty bad stomach ache for the next few days and felt faint. I still went to some of my work but I had to cancel one session and one lesson. I managed to play my first doubles match of the tournament and we won easily against a mediocre team, and was hoping by Saturday afternoon for my singles match I would be recovered.

Unfortunately, I still wasnt feeling real great and didnt know what to expect going in but I wasnt going to not play at all. It was a tough player, actually seeded #2 since he did well there last year, but a player Ive beaten fairly handily when Ive played well against him the last couple years. I got out there and knew I didnt have much energy, but the stomach felt pretty good and so I knew it could be worse. I was playing fairly well up through mid second-set and was up a set and a break. At that point I started to not play quite as well, as focused, and I also was beginning to gradually feel worse and physically drained. 3rd set started very even, and just as I had chances to close him out in two sets, I let many, many opportunities slip away in the third set as well. Especially because of my serve with little margin for error with my handicap, I found myself double faulting a fair amount. Unfortunately, most of these came at time when I had GAME POINTS. If I were to guess on the number when it was game point alone, I would say I double faulted about 5-6 times, usually at like 40-30 or so, and I ended up losing several of these games too, if not all of them.

Bottom line is, despite all the excuses I can make on here, such as my wrist injury, or having the food poisoning take away my energy, I still should have won the match. I ended up losing 7-5 in the 3rd set. Basically, the largest problem and reason for losing that day despite all of that, was mental weakness. I choked it away. It wasnt just those double faults, but I also was missing sitting forehands. Shots that should either be winners, forced errors, or putting pressure, but toward the end of the match I was continually missing them! Another thing is, if I had made the decision once I started missing those to just extend the points and keep alot of balls in play rather than being aggressive, I probably would have won the match that way, unless it would have just completely taken me out physically. It is true that with not feeling well, I was pretty much trying to end the points sooner than I normally would have. Subconsciously even, people do that because of the need to get off the court as soon as possible. So in short, I was both tight and choking to miss the shots I usually make, and also very stubborn (stupid maybe too) and not willing to make the adjustment because I was feeling sick and exhausted. Another problem though was again, mental, in that when things were going wrong, I was not able to turn up my intensity and focus on doing better. I was very ambivalent out there. I lacked a genuine anger and was rather just continually talking out loud and mocking the choke, and laughing at how I could miss such easy forehands and double fault on game points. If im very honest, I would admit that when things started to go bad, I basically gave up. At least, I didnt genuinely need to win in my heart. I sure would have liked to win had things started going in or if he had given more away to me. Thing is, he gave away a LOT. He is one of the better players I play, but really it was in a way a bad loss. I didnt truly need the win or go for it all out myself and do whatever I had to, but rather I just expected it to be given away, or the shots would just start falling in. I really gave up in many ways.

Its just great to be out there at all though. And I have my injury, I havent played alot and am not sharp, and I had another excuse that day with feeling sick. I also now know that the serve handicap I have will not keep me from competing with and beating anyone that I will play. Those are true things and that I can tell myself to try to feel better about it. But Im definitely not over it, because again, despite everything, the match was mine to win, and I gave it away because I was mentally weak. It is the first tournament of the summer, and its not one of the big ones. So, now instead of continuing to lose sleep and brood over it like I already have the last two days, I need to actually LEARN from it, and take it to heart. I need to be able to play smarter and play with alot of consistency. To do this I will need to get back to training and get physically fit, so I can do this well and make focused decisions for long matches without getting fatigued. And above anything, I need to get mentally tough. I need to find that again. I have some time before the next tournament to work on these things. About a month maybe. I hate losing, and especially the way I did the other day. I need to take this as a lesson and remember it. Im starting to feel better and get over feeling sick, im just really exhausted and sore now from playing with that. This next month I need to improve in these areas.

Tournament soon

2008-05-18T23:17:00.003-05:00

Not much to say in this post. I am a little worried with my left hand, but hopefully it will be alright. I dont know how best to describe it, but recently I have felt some sensations or twinges in there when Ive hit. I just hope that the shot worked, doesnt wear off, and that I can do everything I want to do this summer without pain. Not much I can do about it except do a little icing, maybe use some icy-hot, take some ibuprofen, and hope for some healing when I get rest.

I still hadnt been completely confident in my backhand until my hit this morning. I mean it was alright and not bad, but still didnt feel right and was the wing where the misses were happening. I have experimented with changing things here and there with the technique, and today I finally think I made a breakthrough. Made a change to my elbow positioning and I guess everything else fell into place. It is hard to say after one session, but I havent hit backhands like that in honestly a few years. I hit it decently by the middle of last summer, but somewhere along the line a long time ago, I lost the backhand that had been my major weapon. Im very sure the experimenting all that time and doing things too wristy was the cause of my left wrist problem. I just hope I can both continue to hit it well and stay injury free. My first tournament of the summer is this weekend, and it will have a few of the better players I go against. I will see where I stand on my serving handicap, and try to compete and win with the rest of my game. As long as im injury free, overall I cant forget what Ive gone through this year, and it is amazing that I am able to do this at all right now.

Ive maybe said this before, but sometimes I think about why I am still so driven, and why Im playing so much and training at the age of 24. Im done with college tennis, Ive had some major injuries that could have made me give it up, Im not going to play professionally full time or anything, so what is the point? Alot of good players that have done well up to this age have just as well considered it over by now, and are doing alot of other things for fun and only play tennis here and there. I guess it is just completely a part of me to do it this way, and im that competitive. I cant not get up at 7 and do the sprints, do the weights, and try to find someone to hit with hard any day and as much as possible, because Im capable of it. I feel like its a waste if I dont do it. I could decide not to do it all and just play when the tournaments come up, but I want to win too much. I want to get better. Maybe its just a continuing effect of my sense of making up for lost time. At first years ago, it was finally beginning to play a higher level game the end of my freshman year of college. It felt incredibly rewarding to be able to compete and hit the ball better, and not self-defeat. I had a feeling that I could be alot better and that I had it in me. I kept getting better every year through college, and now a couple years later after that. Now, Ive had injuries that have kept me out of the game, and I want to reclaim what I could not do during that time. I still have goals. Deep down though, I think I just really love this game. I love battling, and I love being able to do a skill the right way, and do it well. Most of all, its a part of me. When youre on court, nothing else in the world matters. Its all on hold while the tennis match goes on. There can be all kinds of issues and problems in life before and waiting for you after, but for the moment it is the time to escape, and the time to go after the win. To avoid defeat, to "live another day". Overcoming the obstacles. To try and be somebody. I think its really a special thing, sport. Too many people shrug off sports pursuits as too consuming of time, effort and money, or being over-hyped. But its pure joy and entertainment for those playing and watching. The game parallels life itself in many ways. Ultimately it all teaches a person how to be a winner in life as well. You cannot be successful in a game unless you sacrifice, put in many hours at high quality, and have it in your heart to become better and try to get somewhere. Thats why athletes are admirable in many ways, although too many get into other sorts of trouble.

I remember hitting the ball and rallying for the first since my surgeries this winter. It was absolute joy, a rush, in simply being able to do it again. The time away and the injuries have taught me alot about myself, and how to live life. I want to try to enjoy this summer if my body is willing to hold up for at least one more run, and remember whats happened, and what Ive learned.

Backhand is back

2008-05-07T14:15:00.002-05:00

Writing a quick entry about my cortisone shot and things. The shot seems to have worked really well again as I do not feel any pain in my left hand when I hit the two-handed backhand. The tougher issue was trying to figure out how to hit it well again after so long. But because I havent felt any pain hitting it the last 3 days, it has allowed me to better concentrate on playing well with it and not worrying about having it hurt. Yesterday I felt like I got pretty comfortable with it again and was hitting it close to where I want it to be, but it will just take some time to get sharp with really every part of my game. Before yesterday, the first two days I felt like I was hitting the backhand like I couldnt remember how to do it, so it was nice to get it down finally. Overall, I am much further than I had thought I could have been at this point. I had counted on not being able to play any tournaments this summer due to lack of strength and getting too sore, not to mention being unable to hit backhands or serves. It turns out though that I am virtually the same player I was last summer in being able to hit my shots with the same strength and ability, but maybe just not quite as sharp or obviously used to playing matches against good players, so that hopefully will come with time. Im also not seeming to get too sore after I play either now which is awesome, but I also am not playing every day at this point. I am lacking in the serve though, and this is the big X-factor for me.

I am somewhat worried that I will not be able to compete well enough with the very best of the competition by serving with a forehand. I wont really know until it is time to play them, but I fear they will really be able to punish that and it will be too much of a disadvantage to overcome to even have a chance at winning. It will be really fun to compete again though. If the serve turns out to not be too much of a disadvantage, I think I could possibly win some big matches if I can do everything else well. I have already started into training mode, so Im going to do all I can to do it right. Planning to continue getting up early before work to run lines, do jump rope and do some weights and upper-body exercises, and before bed I do an ab workout. Im following a better diet, and Im going to get to sleep in the 11pm-12 range and get 7-8 hours as much as possible. There is a tournament at the end of this month, and Id be facing players that Id normally have close matches with the way it was without being injured. I do have a league match next Tuesday which will probably be against a very good player, so I will find out alot about how my game and things will go at that point.

Celtics won the first round in 7 games after winning the first two easily. Definitely was a scare, but every team plays hard and better in the playoffs. They won a close one against Cleveland last night so theyre up 1-0 in the 2nd round.

24

2008-04-30T11:37:00.002-05:00

If anyone that I know happens to read this thing, thanks if you gave me a birthday wish. It was a good weekend that went too fast, and I wish I could come home more often. Had some great food, and got some really nice presents too, especially some Wii stuff that I can play around with here in my spare time. The roads on the way Friday were pretty bad closer to Alexandria, and they got alot of snow up there. There was some in Minneapolis too I guess, but it was mostly rain. Hopefully it will stay nice and keep getting warmer for good now. Other than that, one funny thing is that I wanted to play some old school board games at the house, and I found Monopoly. We played several games of this, and I rediscovered my favorite game as a little kid haha! Its kind of nerdy maybe, but yeah, I really like that game. Am I cool or what? Im playing it on the computer now too, until it gets old to me, but that might take a while.

I also got that cortisone shot Monday for my left wrist, which is affected by hitting 2-handed backhands. She put it into a slightly different spot than I remember it being the other time I got the shot for this, but hopefully it will work. It would be amazing if it did and Ill be able to play even better if I can hit well on both sides. I have to wait a couple days though before I can try, and then sort of ease my way into hitting it hard. My next entry will probably be an update on what happens with that. See ya

Match play gauge

2008-04-21T01:07:00.005-05:00

Here is a synopsis update on the wrist and things: It has definitely been getting better every few weeks. The treatment helped, but I am finished with that now, and she gave me some more exercises I can do on my own. My shots really dont hurt anymore, except for the serve and the 2-handed backhand which I dont hit at all yet. Otherwise, I am able to play at a pretty high level again though. But, when I play hard for very long, it can get pretty sore and I have trouble hitting hard the next day, but it usually only takes a day or two to recover.

Today I had a bit of a gauge as to how I can do against a tougher player despite my handicaps, especially the serving with a forehand and only slicing backhands. I played against a nationally ranked 18's junior and was able to win although it was very close. I had to run my butt off and let the things I can do with my forehand, experience and moving fast take over. I was pretty worn out having not played an intense match like that since August. Its good though, Im excited to get in really good shape again this summer with my playing and fitness. My serve basically starts the point so I was happy to see that he wasnt able to do too much with it offensively, and to go for alot would probably be over risky anyways. If I can get my wrist stronger and less prone to becoming sore, it is possible by May and June I may be able to compete in some tournaments. I am getting a cortisone shot next week for the left wrist tendonitis and I should hopefully be able to hit the two handed backhand again soon which will help alot, although my slice has been pretty solid. I do need an offensive backhand. The serve will take the longest and will probably require alot more healing and time to be able to do more effectively than a topspin forehand serve. I probably wont be able to beat the very top players I play and maybe wont be able to win the tougher tournaments but I feel I can compete and win against good players now. The main thing is just being able to go out there again if I do, and that is amazing; I really didnt expect to be able to do it yet at this point. Its actually kind of fun too to play and try to win with some handicaps, but it also could be frustrating losing or not doing as well as I could.

The NBA playoffs are here, and the intensity gets higher and everything is on the line. I always like watching at this time, but this year I will be especially into it. Most of the first round matchups are extremely interesting, and so Im pulling for different teams in each of these based on certain players that I like. Most of all, I am really hoping for the Celtics to win a championship. I was always more of a Kevin Garnett fan than a Wolves fan. He is one of my top 3 favorite athletes of all time, any sport. He is such an incredibly hard worker and class act to put it short. He deserves to win and wants to more than anyone. I also like other players on the team such as Rondo, House, Perkins, and especially Ray Allen, Sam Cassel and Paul Pierce as they too are hungry for a championship theyve never had (EDIT: I realized that Cassell has won at least one if I remember correctly), all nearing the end of their careers as is KG. I like their role players, coach, and I love watching the way they play as a team. They won game 1 tonight against the Hawks.

This coming weekend is my 24th birthday. I cannot believe I am actually that old. I have never felt like I am my age for the last few years, and feel as though I am basically the same in most ways as I was when I was 19. The only way Ive felt old is this year after my wrist injury which completely changed my life-style. Having a job now also is different. Im going to come home starting on Friday and stay through the weekend, taking work off. Hopefully it will be fun to relax and hang out for a while.

Wake up from the Nightmare: Reaffirming my life

2008-04-13T00:48:00.004-05:00

This will probably be one of the most interesting posts Ill write, and might bring some color to my journal instead of more or less talking about the same things, which more or less focus on my wrist status and daily goings.

This was a very boring and lonely week/weekend for me, since I had no visitors. Because of this, it was easy to sulk and become depressed with which the state of my life has become. Mainly, because of 8/3/07, but that is the past and I have to deal with it one way or another for better or worse. I had plenty of time to think about how things are. As I posted previously, I became engaged in reading and responding to a message board thread concerning "Belief in God". By the end of today, Saturday night, I think I have reached a turning point for the future as I look at and reset my priorities, and the way in which I go about them. I have concluded that I want to begin focusing on my tennis again as my wrist continues (hopefully) to heal, to begin working out like I once had and then some (how many times have I said that I wanted to in the past? Well now that im healing and not sulking, I can become motivated finally), to eat better and healthier more often, to get better rest (Ive consistently been going to bed in the 12:30-3am range since January), and to commit myself fully to doing my best at my job of teaching tennis.

But more important than any of this, I found I need to think about myself as a Christian, my lifestyle, and my relationship with God. These things need to dramatically change I found. I want you to take a look at one of the videos I watched this weekend. This video is one of MANY made by him that I watched, as well as my watching of the videos made by others as responses to him, which mainly were atheist/agnostic. Go ahead and check them out; youll see the links on the right and so youll have to kind of navigate and figure it out for youself a bit in order to find all of these interesting pieces:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_-XE1ZYr9I&feature=related
The "football" comment made me cringe. Rings very true for me and my tennis, I realized. But really, I have known about my problem for quite some time; it just literally wasnt important enough for me to do much about. Consumed with tennis, and my injury problems, and life in general, for me at least, I think it is easy to get wrapped up in it, become selfish and self-serving, and put God on the back burner. "When Im in college, Ill change!" or "When im done with college and dont have to study or play tennis on Sundays, Ill get right and even attend church" or "Someday I will make it important, but not right now, Im too busy with everything". Most upsetting if Im honest is actually "I dont think I can give up my carefree way of living with sins". I want to change this now; reaffirm my belief and trust in God, what Jesus did for me, and make it important before it might be too late...
I know Im a sinner, and am ashamed. I dont think many people could admit this openly to others though. Even those who call themselves Christians. The hard truth is, most people believe they are "good" people, and are self-righteous in a way. I have a feeling if I asked many close friends or family that are Christians about their sin, some, if not many, would simply promote themselves as a "good Christian" and not give an admission of what kind of sinful life they lead. Its a hard thing to do, because of the fear also of looking like youre a "bad" person, or giving someone ideas of what you could possibly be doing to be so ashamed of oneself. But if we are honest with ourselves, I think every true Christian should be very ashamed of their sinful nature which is very clearly talked about in the Bible. I dont mean that we need to tell people exactly what it is that we do, this is not necessary and would be really awkward. We only need to be honest with ourselves and God, because he listens, and forgives. When you really think about the gift we are given from Christ, it is truly amazing. I feel some people not only take this for granted, but take it as sort of a token part of religion without thinking about it! For all our sins, God took not only ours but EVERYONE's penalty. All we must do is accept it.

Now im not going to preach Gospel on here like I did the last few sentences. I realize some people, if not many, that if ever read this may be from other religions, or even just as likely an agnostic or athiest. So I will digress, and lets go back to the subject of these discussions about God. I feel when participating in these, its not worth it to see it as a witnessing moment. Thats why I wont on here either; you know my stance and Im not going to force my belief onto you. In these discussions, I try to simply present information and answer questions that are brought to light concerning God, creation and Christianity. Most of the time in debates like these, it turns into exactly that, and gets very rude from either side. Thing is, interestingly enough, there arent just two sides, there are many shades of grey, and opposing perspectives within a belief. When it comes to the subjects of evolution, young earth creation, science as supporting/opposing, literal/metaphor Bible interpretation, and etc, there are different opinions within the Christians, atheists and agnostics themselves!! It is interesting to read or even engage in these because usually you have some very intelligent and learned people taking part. From what I see, both sides of God's existence and every varying degree to the subject matter which I just listed make some very strong arguments using sound logic, science, evidence and philosophical reasoning. However, the sides continue to REFUTE each other in a never ending cycle, unless one person simply fatigues from all the time to think, research and write meaningful and accurate posts. So, WHO exactly is right about different things? From an indifferent point of view being completely objective, I have to be honest and say I think it is very difficult, if not impossible to say. I have to be honest and say there are some extremely interesting and good questions brought up by those who challenge God and Christianity. Questions that in my opinion, no intelligent or even human being could not naturally think about, if not even doubt themselves on their stance before thinking about it and reading things.

Now, some people just quite simply and easily dont even bother with any of this. They simply have their belief, and do not wish to have the discussion, being adamant in their belief, which obviously they wouldnt believe in if they werent. Maybe ignorance is bliss too, and of course not everyone is as smart as others. I certainly dont think every Christian believer needs to understand science, philosophy and have sound logic on complicated matters to earn a true belief. BUT, At the same time you have to acknowledge the fact that many individuals accept their "faith", blindly. If you dont challenge yourself to think about things, look at the other sides and perspectives and ignore them, Im not sure if you can necessarily call it your "own" belief!! When you think about it, it is a very good point about people being raised into their religion. Lets say youre born in a Middle Eastern country for example. What do you think the chances are that you are going to become and believe in Islam as a Muslim? See where Im going now? It is pretty obvious that people are raised into their religion from a socialization and geographical standpoint. To not as a grown adult look into everything being presented will not only impede your growth as a thinker and a believer, but it really cant be considered your own, in many cases at least. By standing the test, a person naturally should be more confident in their own belief, and can have a more true and burning fire to be an example and spread their word.

Having been in a few of these discussions/debates, I definitely do not have all the answers. Maybe theyre all out there somewhere, but there is so much sound case for either side and refuting each other. I am human, and I still have questions concerning different things. But Im not too concerned with it. Ive seen plenty of good Christian science, logic and reasoning and plenty of refuting the arguments made of atheists and agnostics that I can basically say its not something for me to try to fully comprehend. It is a belief after all. But without a doubt, there is absolutely things abounding for us to be confident in our belief as Christians. When I think about random chance of things, and the astronomical "perfect" conditions required for our life on this planet, different signs within life and the universe which I believe point toward an intelligent design and creator, our morals and where they come from or how they could exist without God... it simply boils down to one thing in the end: All of these things are just in disagreement with non-believers concerning the source of it all. We believe it is of God, whereas they believe it is otherwise. By looking into those things which I just listed, there is just a strong belief within me that there is a God. And from what I can tell, I believe Christianity and the Bible to be the true way to him. I mean, I also think about how I sincerely talk to God and do things for God at different points in my life. I wouldnt do that if I didnt actually believe, right? I want to reaffirm myself as a Christian now. I want to refrain from sin, and have a relationship with God, much unlike ever before in my life. I know its going to be so hard, and I can basically guarantee Im going to stumble along the way. hopefully, with time I will get better. When I stumble, instead of give up on myself, I need to just think about it, and move forward. Pretty much my life will boil down to 1-God, 2-Family/Friends, 3-Tennis =)

Not much new/ Message board discussion

2008-04-09T12:33:00.004-05:00

As the title says, I dont really have any big news or anything, and its been a while since I journaled here. Im pretty much doing the same thing: working, getting therapy for my wrist, and doing things here and there to try to contain my boredom throughout the week outside of that. Fortunately, most weekends since Ive been here someone has came to visit me, whether its Megan, her parents, or my mom.
My wrist may be getting a little better, yet still has a long ways to go of course. Im still pretty much the same with possibly a little more strength, less pain, and not quite as sore from hitting hard. I havent been playing hard often though actually, like I had that one week when I got really sore toward the end, so its hard to say. If i hadnt mentioned before, Im planning to play league tennis again this summer, but still as of now I am not willing to do tournaments. My forehand is working again as Ive said, volleys are there too now, but I am unable to serve, and I have to slice my backhand. I believe that If I fix my left hand up with a cortisone shot as I did last winter, I would only be lacking in the serve. Thing is, I wasnot strong there before now anyways!! I have to serve a topspin forehand of a serve now, and I wonder if maybe I could get away with that, and I could possibly still beat some tougher players with the rest of my game. The main issue is that my hand gets sore, and so I would be progressively hurting more and playing worse as a tournament goes on. If I can get past that, you never know... I could decide to make a run at a couple this summer.

I want to show those who are interested a message board discussion that I have been participating in lately. It is a thread about belief in God, being a Christian, or otherwise. Theres plenty of perspectives in it, and I have tried to present accurate information and such the best that I can, and I think I have done a fairly good job of this. I am honest about my own questions as well in this thread at a few points. Any person that is human has to have questions like these however, unless their faith is blind. I like threads like these because they strengthen my beliefs, although they are very tiresome and time consuming. Anyways, here it is, my first post is on page 4 as post #73, and I become very involved as the discussion gradually moves forward. Feel free to comment on anything said by anyone, or myself:
http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=190435

Easter

2008-03-24T14:50:00.002-05:00

It was nice to go home for Easter. I hadnt been home since I left for my job a little over a month ago. It was short though since I only was home Saturday evening, and then at Megan's Sunday morning and part of the afternoon. I have to say my wrist was getting really sore by the end of last week. Since I had been feeling better and able to hit my forehand pretty hard, Ive been playing for a couple hours every day outside of my work schedule. It was nice, but by Thursday for a drill session I could hardly hit a ball. So I guess I overestimated my recovery a little, but now after a couple days off it seems to feel better. It is just going to get sore for now still if im playing that much and hitting it hard. I hope someday that will change.
I got more of a taste of city traffic last night on my way back too. Once I hit Monticello, which is at least 30 minutes away from my apartment when driving normally around 75mph, I hit complete stop and go traffic. 40 minutes later im barely a mile out of Monticello I bet. I was worried it would take me another couple hours just to get home. Fortunately, it picked up around Albertville and I was able to get up to almost normal speed again shortly.

Aquatennial Tennis Videos

2008-03-17T14:20:00.002-05:00

This post is just to share something cool I got the other day. There was a guy, John Howarth, at my Aquatennial tennis tournament final in July, and he recorded many of the matches there on video. He then professionally edited them and has put them into 2 disc sets as full length matches, and was nice enough to give me a complimentary copy.

It was really enjoyable for me to watch that match and relive it. That match means alot to me in a few ways. First, the atmosphere is unbelievable there. If you get to the finals its even better: there were about 300+ people there to watch, and its right in the middle of downtown minneapolis. People lay down a sport court right there in a plaza amid skyscrapers, and you can hear all kinds of cars going by and honking, and even the light rail train. They provide an umpire, and ball kids, and theres a cool scoreboard. I had been to the finals there the year before in '06 and lost in a good match, and last summer of '07 I won the tournament. Along the way I beat 3 players who had beaten me in our previous meeting, and I was playing really well. Most importantly, this was about only 2 weeks before my wrist injury occured. I watch this now and remember more what it was like to be able to play like that and have that kind of fun again. I want to be able to do that again someday, and maybe go back to that tournament and win it again. For me right now, that tournament is my goal and definitely has a special place inside me.

I uploaded a couple short clips of the match if anyone cares to watch, thought Id share it.
The first video is serving at 5-6 in the first set, and then the tiebreak:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=md9oNXUBJUo
The seond clip is the 3rd set match tiebreaker to 10 points:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAhTCWMVpUY

Recovery is progressing =)

2008-03-11T23:11:00.003-05:00

Theres not alot of variety to this journal of mine, buts thats ok I suppose. Right now Im thinking about my therapy for my wrist; it definitely seems to be helping. After the first few sessions I thought it was helping a little but didnt think it was making a significant impact, but now I am really pleased with how it has gone. I hit for a little with our top junior player for 40 minutes after the session, and I am hitting the ball so much better than a week and 2 weeks ago. I am now able to say that I can hit my normal forehand without thinking about pain, because its a small amount. I cant tell you the rush I get when Im hitting; being able to hit the ball hard and well again like that and play some baseline games just fills me with adrenaline and is really fun. Its more a feeling, I cant describe it very well. Its a result of not being able to do this for so long. 7 months has been a very long time for me. This makes me realize how much I love playing this game, and that I am a deeply competitive person that has been deprived of competiton for too long. The better you get at something, the more satisfying it can be. I love battling out there and putting everything Ive got into hitting from the baseline and running fast all over the place. I simply enjoy being able to hit some good shots again.

I cant kid myself either though. I am still unable to hit the two-handed backhand without pain. I also havent attempted serves or overheads because I know it will hurt and I am scared to try since that is the shot the injury occured with. Those shots are obviously necessary to compete at my best, and compete against a high level player. Volleys hurt as Ive said, but this week Ive been able to actually hit some decent volleys with only moderate pain. It was just a week or 2 weeks ago that I totally avoided volleys when possible because when the ball met my racket with that tight wrist, it hurt alot. I usally did whatever I could just to get the ball in and didnt think about hitting it the better correct/more painful way. Still, after this improvement, and playing against the good junior players here recently, I honestly believe that I could beat most players right now that I would face by using my forehand, wing it with a slice backhand, avoid overheads and volley sparingly, and do a topspin forehand serve. However, I know I would get totally owned by the good players Im used to having close matches with in this manner.

It would be difficult for me to play a tournament this summer like this, and feel embarassed losing a lop-sided match to a player that normally I would either beat, or have a decent chance of beating. Therefore, I will have to test the waters and try serving at least sometime before the end of April, being able to do so with at least minimum power, and get a cortisone injection into my left hand to be able to hit backhands (much less practice it and hit it well again after 8 months of absence).

All in all, Im pretty happy with the way my recovery is going. At the same time, I have a ways to go, and I cant get ecstatic until Im playing my full, usual tennis again. I think it might be time to ease into physical conditioning though, and hopefully soon maybe I will now feel an incentive to start really training by running killers, doing jumprope and other speed/interval training along with weights, pushups, abs, eating better and sleeping more. To hell with the triathlons, I hate running distance and it is SO boring! (ill do them though if I cant play tournaments, in which case ill switch to training for those and run for distance... lol)

Physical therapy started

2008-03-03T21:50:00.003-06:00

My wrist has been getting really sore, and gets worse every day from hitting and feeding alot of balls. But the good thing for now is that on 2 days of the week, I pretty much have the day off unless I have lessons scheduled, so it gives it some rest and that seems to help and it feel a little better the next time im on court. The two therapy treatments ive had so far have been alright; I like the place and the person I see. Theyre not doing ultrasound, but some other kind of treatment that Im not sure of the name. They put some kind of medication onto a couple pads, put them on me, and theyre hooked up to something electric. I go twice a week, so its hard to say right now how it will go. Like I said, lately im hurting pretty bad with basically every ball I hit. But I think the treatment might be working a little because today I felt better out there and was actually able to do more with the ball than I used to, I felt. I could hit it a little harder and with more spin. It was really fun to be able to play some points out today in the junior drill and hit better like that. At the same time, it makes me really crave and miss being able to practice and train for my game. I miss being able to play, run hard, and hit the ball well. And, I dont even know if I will ever be able to again. This has been such a resounding theme for this blog of mine... I know, in my hopeless ranting about this injury and changing my life. Anyone reading this probably gets sick of reading it. But I tell you, frankly it just sucks. Its been a nightmare that I want to end. Other injuries I had lasted a couple months in the past, and they seem so small now. When I came back, I appreciated it, but soon enough forgot all about it and went on the same. Now, I think I have been really humbled, and I think this experience has changed me for good in alot of ways. At least something good comes of it, but I wish I could come back someday.

I got my first paycheck, so hoping to get that deposited. I tried to find a US bank around here though because I know I had seen one, but instead I got lost for a while. Im trying to get some other things taken care of with that too, like get an online banking thing going so I can get some of my bills paid through my checking on there. I dont know much about that stuff, so it is a little frustrating right now. We did some more work in my apartment yesterday putting a bookcase together and moving some things in, out and around. I have my furball here now if I hadnt mentioned that before, so its nice to have someone here waiting for me when I get home from work.

New wrist update, and stuff

2008-02-26T01:11:00.003-06:00

Alright, well my wrist is definitely sore, but im able to manage just fine. Feeding balls in drills isnt really too hard on it, but any kind of hitting, especially when I have to try to step it up a little for the better players, definitely can hurt. It gets worse the more I use it, but I can ignore the pain enough simply because I dont play all that bad and can keep the ball in play well enough to be consistent. Theres not anyone that Ive seen here, so far anyways, that I cant out play the way I am anyways. I still am really enjoying my job, and Im up to almost 17 hours guaranteed a week not including lessons. Im hoping, and anticipate that soon enough I will be getting business for teaching lessons which would put me close to the 20-25 hours a week mark. And with time, hopefully more, ideally 30-35 or more. I gave a couple lessons last week and they went pretty well. I actually am unsure of myself going into the drills and lessons that I run all by myself, trying to plan out the things and drills we will do. But once I get out there I am pretty confident and assertive, and I believe that I do an above average job of observing and giving the most meaningful instruction for technique, and I offer what many instructors cannot with my advice concerning point play and match applications.

I had my doctors appointment a few days ago. It was pretty short and sweet really; they didnt do X-rays this time either. I just talked to the assistant a little, and then very briefly with my doctor. I basically told them about my pain and soreness, but that my strength and flexibility seemed to be doing well. The doctor said although it may seem like its been a long time to me, it hasnt really, and he thinks of this in terms of needing a year from the pin removal. Also, that sore spot is probably NOT directly injury related, but rather a result of the spot where the pins were, and irritated some things in that area. He recommended for me to get some physical therapy specifically for that now, which would include ultrasound, to try to relieve that soreness and break up scar tissue. This to me was good news I guess, and it may be possible that with some time I could get this pain and soreness to go away, and perhaps be able to try to play well and compete again someday. Thats why I left the building in a good mood. But not long after I realized that I really dont know anything for a fact about what they told me, or whether it will actually work well. Or, whatever types of things even after this was taken care of that would hinder me from playing, such as simply just being too weak, too inflexible, or other sore/painful areas Im not thinking as much about. I have my first therapy session tommorow here in Minneapolis about a block from my apartment, so I will write later about what the scoop is on that.

Other than that, again im pretty much over that nasty sickness I had a couple weeks ago, but Im still trying to shake a cough that I have. It doesnt help that im talking, and shouting a bit when im coaching either. Once it goes away, I plan to ease back into my workouts. And eventually, I would really, really love to start going really hard at it again, doing it twice a day. If i cant play tennis tournaments this summer, I would like to be able to do something, such as run or bike or both in some races or something. Oh, almost forgot... Lilly, my cat, had an accident this weekend. A certain person denied her access to the litter box for an extended period of time, and so she had no choice. I have much more thoughts about this whole incident and I could give more detail, but I will leave it at that, due to the slight possibility people might actually read this blog, and the people involved could be one of them. She seems OK now though, so I guess that what matters most. Id like to have her here in my apartment with me, but I would have to sneak her in because of the building rules. I probably will, but Im not sure when yet.

Getting settled in

2008-02-20T13:51:00.002-06:00

I thought id write a quick entry today. I am basically about all settled and moved into my apartment now. Theres been alot of work done here with the appliances, carpet, setting up my desk, bed, cable, internet and stuff like that. Its a pretty nice place so I will like living here I think. They have a fitness center and pool, and so once I get completely over my cold sypmtoms Ill start up working out again, and hopefully be able to keep doing it hard and progress without something getting in the way this time. Its only about an hour from St. Cloud, and its easy to get to so Im not worried about getting lost and driving. Im not going to go exploring though; I just know my places where I need to go around my loop, such as work, groceries, my apartment and stuff and thats all I really need.

The first few days of the job have been great. The facility is real nice and I really like working for Tim and alongside Peg. The time goes pretty fast, and I do enjoy being out on the court and teaching tennis. Its fun and its something I think I do well at. My main objective is just to grow my business, and get as many hours working as possible. I have my guaranteed hours doing the drill sessions, so it will be all about getting people to come for lessons to me outside that. Hopefully I will get better and continue to gain confidence in my teaching abilities the more I do it. Giving alot of private lessons to people I dont really know will be a first for me, so Im slightly nervous, although I feel like I can really help people alot to improve their tennis game. My wrist has felt alright so far and not gotten too sore. I feel also like maybe its a little stronger than about 3 weeks ago when I hit; my forehand feels stronger and I can hit it much better, although I still have a ways to go, especially with strength. But it actually is a decent forehand now that resembles what it used to.

I have a doctor appointment this Friday. Im not sure exactly what they will all do and tell me. Hopefully I will have some good news or learn something interesting. I will have some questions for them concerning what I can do to get it in condition to try to play again like I used to, without it hurting too much.

Job

2008-02-16T11:58:00.002-06:00

Its been a while since Ive written on here. I had planned to wait longer and write about how my coming job went on the first day or so, but things have happened lately. My parents were on vacation for 2 weeks (wow), and my mom retired from teaching Algebra at the highschool. I think I had mentioned some of this in my last post actually. Anyways, I spent most of that time down in St Cloud with Megan (and Lilly). It was boring while she was at class so I pretty much hung around and did some workouts. I had a meeting with my boss about the new job teaching tennis and it sounds pretty good. This last week was it before I start off in the working world. I hadnt got much sleep (since Megan stays up till 2am most nights studying) for the past couple weeks though, and combined with other things, I got extremely sick Monday night. Im just getting over it now and its Saturday. So it was not a fun week.

Ive got an apartment down there, and we got some stuff like a bed and desk to set up tommorow also. My mom is very generous and is helping me with almost everything I will need. I wont be making alot of money right now at least. It will be interesting to see how the job goes, and hopefully I will be getting more and more business coming my way for teaching lessons. Im both excited and nervous for all this. I love teaching tennis, and I really want to get away from my parents since they drive me nuts alot. At the same time, its tough growing up and being responsible for so much. I still have alot of things to learn; some I know almost nothing about. I would also enjoy my job much more If I had a healthy wrist. I would be able to do much more while im out there. The biggest thing was I wanted to just be around the game and with a job like this I could continue to play and get better. Im hoping it doesnt get too sore teaching and feeding, day in and day out. That would make it hard to work.

Other news is I passed those teacher-licensure tests I took about a month ago. All id have to do now is just fill out and do whats needed to get the teaching license. I could potentially sub if Im not getting enough working hours right away, but I hope thats not needed and I dont want to get back into a school again right now anyways.

St Cloud

2008-01-30T17:08:00.000-06:00

My parents went on vacation for a week and will be for another week soon after, so Ive been staying at Megans place for the week. Also, the St Johns head tennis coach herniated a disc in his back as well as some nerve damage with the sciata, and called me up to help him with the team by coaching a match and running practice for the week until he recovers. This has been good for me to give me something else to do, and give me a chance to try to get used to the idea of coaching tennis again and see how it is for me despite not being able to play myself. Their team actually works very hard and has a positive attitude which has been pleasant to work with.

Other than that, I have been working out alot and sticking to it so Im beginning to get into decent shape. I often go twice a day with my stuff, and take a day off of either the running/bike or weights every few days or so, so im probably doing each about 5 times a week. Ive tried hitting a little bit on an actual court with the SJU team and a friend that plays for SCSU as well. I found it fun in a way since I havent really done so in about 6 months, but at the same time it is hard for me because I see how far gone I am and how long of a ways I have from what I used to be. I can basically hit a light pace of a forehand in the court, but not with any real strength and it is somewhat painful. Also, from not playing in some long I am not hitting very skillfully either but it has alot to do with my wrist. Backhands as I said my left hand troubles came back so I have to slice that with the right since it just hurts too much to hit the two-hander. Serving I have tried a couple but usually cannot get it over the net from my weakness, as well as psychologically being afraid to hit it any harder for risk of a re-injury. Volleys especially can hurt quite a bit if it is coming at me with force. Despite this if im just in a baseline game with someone, hack my way, use tactics, play defense and move the person around enough I can hold my own and probably win alot of the time unless Im playing one of the better and agressive players I know. In other words, its fun to play again but its bittersweet knowing I kind of suck now. From these sessions hitting, I have very high doubts I will be ready to compete by this summer. I also have doubts whether I will ever be able to be the same tennis player again. This is very hard for me to accept because of who I am. Mentally I am at a whole different level than most people about competing and training hard, and the desire to do so, even after being out of college now. Theres not alot left I could accomplish however when I think about it; Im grateful I was able to have success in college and in Open tournaments for many years before this happened. At the same time I feel like I could have continued to do even better at the Open tournaments, and possibly even take a more serious crack at the Futures pro tournaments for a while. I have gotten better every year for the last 5 or 6 years. I may not have a chance anymore. I also simply enjoy it just from a perspective of having fun as I said in a previous entry on here. It is something I would miss so much, and feel cheated about. And again, I have to come to realize there are other important things in life, and theres hopefully alot of it left for me ahead. I had my highschool and college career, and the tournaments; rather than missing all of that this happened after. Worse things could have happened to me too; I have had a few nearly very bad car wrecks for example, but I managed to be alert at the right moment and make the right decisions. Unless I was going to turn pro or something I maybe shouldnt be so focused on this. I try to think this way and it kind of works, but at the same time I am who I am and I cant help my thinking and feelings.

Got an interesting job possibility with coaching a college team down south since they are without a coach, so I will see what they have to offer. I still have my offer at a facility down in minneapolis too, and now is getting to be about the time where I need and am probably expected to move on and take a job. Once my parents are back for good I will have to figure out a living situation and make the move where ever I am working.

"Focus only on what you can control"

2008-01-22T00:28:00.000-06:00

You would maybe think that a life of sleeping in everyday, not going to work, lounging around the house and free to do whatever I want whether it be watching TV, playing video games, working out, or hanging out with family would be a dream. But as much as Id like to think thatd be so enjoyable, its not. In fact, I feel like my life has no direction at all. I feel so bored all day trying to occupy myself with these certain things, and yet Im bored and miserable doing it all. I feel like I have nothing to get up for in the morning any more.

Life for me used to have such a sense of purpose every day. You get up, eat something right, do class right, work at tennis with a sense of purpose and energy, study and do the homework right, do a workout with purpose and energy even when you dont feel like it, turn down all the pop and junk even if it would taste good and eat right some more, go to bed at a decent hour, keep yourself up with shaving and hygene, and do it all over again. Doing it all with a purpose; to do well or at least the best that is possible at what youre doing. I dont have that anymore. As pathetic as I realize it might sound in some ways, Im so depressed often. My body has failed me, and has stripped all of that sense of purpose away from me. I have worked out now and then, but its different. Its hard to do it right or often and stick with it when you dont have anything to go after. And I used to go after it like a warrior day in and day out. There really isnt a day when I didnt show up to compete and run at my best. No fun and games, or time to let down the guard and relax. It was all about business and going after it. What is "it"? I think about it and I guess it is a few things. I love the battle. I love being able to control it all, take all the glory and the failure. Its what Ive pursued since being a young kid. Its been my outlet of emotion when Im against the whole world, or just to express myself. Its in many ways alot of who I am.

The "little" things in life I guess I get up for now; going to see a certain movie here, a certain meal there, a family gathering here, a certain task or event there. Or just as simple as doing the things I already listed that I do every day now. But im so bored and dejected. And the reason why is not so much what has happened to me, but knowing that theres a real possibility I wont be able to overcome it. I know I will eventually have to overcome it, regardless of the outcome. I will have to settle for this and be grateful for that. I will have a job and a family and I would simply carry somewhat of a grudge over my sleight. Deep down though, part of me wants to believe this nightmare will be over someday, and I can somehow be better from it all, appreciate life and what I used to do, and my health so much, and go on to be better at playing, teaching and living than ever. And then, that might not happen that way at all.

What then? Im going to have to get on somehow. I believe things in life happen for a reason. God has a plan for lives and the world. I have to remember that and have faith it was said to me. Its so hard to be positive though. I hear of these people, like Lance, that were so positive, so combative. Are most people like that? I have such a "why me" attitude even though I do realize how much worse situations can be for others in the world. But I feel the way I do for a reason: My sense of living, who I am, and sense of purpose are gone. I know this is not good, and I want to be positive. As usual, I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind races with thoughts and emotions. But the other night, I actually got angry. And when youre angry you want to do something about things. To do something, is to be purposeful. I guess maybe I can make my recovery and therapy, and my workouts purposeful. When I do start my job and teaching, that will be purposeful. When I worked out tonight, I did more than I had been and didnt feel like quitting early as I sometimes do. I feel like sticking to it all now and improving. Thats a start. I will hopefully do my best to recover, and use my opportunity to make a start at getting back into shape, and then some. Its just so hard for me to do things without my mind right. Its not just a physical problem Im dealing with. I swing from sulking to hopeful so often in a week. I need to try to give it more time perhaps, and focus on what I can do, rather than what I cannot control.

Tests and stuff

2008-01-15T16:21:00.000-06:00

The other day I took two 2-hour exams for my teaching licensure. Definitely were a little difficult, especially since one of them was essay and I felt very pressed for time at the end and didnt finish the last part and rushed. I do think I should pass though, and possibly even did pretty well. I finally have gotten over my bad cold for the most part, although I may be responsible also for passing it on to Megan, my parents, and her parents! Ive started working out again and Im hoping to keep that going and progressively overload my amount. Mainly doing weights, abs, and some cardio. Ive decided that instead of doing sprints, Im going to do alot of endurance training as far as running is concerned. I dont know if I will be able to play tennis this summer, and if that is the case Ive decided I still want to do something competitive and do some triathlons. The training could only help my tennis anyways even though it is mainly an anaerobic sprinting sport. I have had issues with fatigue during the summer tournaments since Im playing about 13 of every 14 days, which include tournaments most weekends for 4 months, and it often is extremely hot and humid. I think within two years I could be a contender to win a triathlon but we will see. I hope it doesnt come to that and my plan is hopefully to start playing some tennis as soon as possible on the wall and/or lightly hit with someone I can find, along with my routine. Not sure when my parents will kick me out of the house and then Ill need to get a job. Im hoping the wrist will get better enough where I will be physically and mentally prepared to go about teaching and playing tennis again the way I want to and could.

Tried hitting

2008-01-08T17:04:00.000-06:00

I tried hitting on the wall the other day. It didnt actually go too bad, it could have been worse and I didnt know what to expect going in. It felt weird at all to be carrying a racket bag again. Mainly just felt really weak and uncomfortable; I dont know if youd call it pain since its definitely not sharp, but it does hurt a little I guess you could say. But I was able to hit the ball against the wall in a rally. I can probably hit at three-quarter force but also Im hesitant to try for much more at this point. Tried serving a couple light topspin serves too and was hesitant about this but I was able to get a few over the net. I hit on a court with Megan another day and I was able to hit the ball alright although again just lightly for the most part without it getting too uncomfortable. I dont even really remember how to hit the ball very well either so Im sure if and when I get back Im going to have a ways to go to play well again.

I dont know how much better its going to get but at this point I dont know what to think. I have a hard time imagining myself getting better and being able to play like I used to again to be honest. At the same time its hard to know what it will be like after some time. Maybe it will improve and ill be good again as long as it doesnt re-injure. At the very least Im confident I should be physically capable to teach tennis now, so thats a good thing. Things could be alot worse now with how the surgery and healing went and I try to remember that. I havent been good about my therapy like I was during December because of all the get togethers and company with the holidays. I will try to get on that.

Im concerned about my left wrist actually, isnt that something. One of the injuries I had last year that I mentioned was some tendonitis in that one from hitting backhands. It came to the point where it was extremely painful to hit the two-hander and I eventually had to completely stop hitting it and just slice with one hand. I did this for a month or two before I finally got a cortisone injection which relieved the problem and I went on to play the summer without ever thinking about any pain in it. By the way, this is also similar to what happened to my shoulder a year ago. I had injured it experiementing on serve technique, and I was unable to serve for 2 months last fall. Again, I got a cortisone injection and, although it is painful in a certain position and can flare up from certain movements, I dont notice it at all for the most part and it doesnt affect my tennis at all either. They had thought I would probably need surgery for that one as well. Anyways, yeah after hitting some backhands now the left wrist has flared up like it did a year ago. Im concerned it could be a problem again. I had hoped that was behind me now, especially having rested for so long now. But apparently the shot wore off or something, or I was hitting it wrong the other day. This just compounds on my mind to everything else with my right wrist and future in general. Im such a mess, I just want to get out of all this and live my life. I know I wouldnt take it for granted.

I wanted to start working out alot now that I have so much free time, but we have been staying up really late every night and I eat and drink garbage on a regular basis that I finally got wore down and I have a pretty bad cold right now. So again what I had started is wasted and I wont be able to start up again probably for a couple days.

I saw the Lance Armstrong book in my closet that I had read about 2 years ago. I couldnt sleep at the time so I decided to read the first chapter. He had such a rougher situation than I do its not even a comparison obviously. At the same time it is somewhat similar in many ways, and all I want to do is get out of this, and become better from it, just like he did. Im having difficulties pulling myself up though right now. The only way I can get on though is to do so, and stop being miserable about everything. For now, I just need this cold to go away. Then, the next step will be to simply move on and follow through on what Ive said on this journal. Start eating, sleeping, exercising right. Do my rehab. Try hitting. Eventually get a job and then continue to do all of the above. And maybe someday, everything will then fall into the right place.

UNBELIEVABLE

2007-12-31T13:59:00.000-06:00

Well, I havent posted in a long time, but alot has happened. First off, I graduated from college a couple weeks ago. Its hard to believe I am finally done after such a long journey. I wont ever have to take tests and hand in papers, or put up with classes, notes and professors again. I had an awesome time student teaching this semester, and my teachers I worked with were great. I couldnt keep my key to the gym though, and that combined with being busy over the holidays and everything now, I havent worked out since which frustrates me. So im kind of back to square one again on that and Im sure im in horrible shape. But, now I will have alot of free time before I get a job and I will be working out harder than I was when I had to go teach every day.

That bring me to the next thing. My wrist has been getting alot better. Obviously it still has a long ways to go, but its hard to say since I havent tried playing tennis or doing some of the harder things. The pain is way down now and its alot stronger. I think I could try light hitting on a tennis court with someone any time now. Perhaps I might even be able to play like I used to again. That in itself is an absolute miracle and I would be basically back to life again when I can go out and compete, run and hit the ball like I did before again. But we will see, Im sure it will be a little painful and hard at first hitting big shots and serves.

For Christmas I got more than I could ever ask for. A ton of great items, clothes, cash, food and fun with family. I feel I already have so much in my life so I didnt ask for anything really and I dont need anything; I am just really lucky I guess. One cool thing though that I got was a Nintendo Wii. It is a blast! Its the system where you actually swing with the remotes and physically play the games as it reads your movements. We have spent a lot of time playing that lately, including Dance Dance Revolution that youll see in malls and arcades. I wont be bored at all with that either in between my workouts!

Finally, the biggest thing of all just happened to me a matter of an hour or so ago. It was a very good idea that I didnt completely quit playing poker like I said I was going to last time. They have this jackpot which can be won when a really good hand gets beat by a better hand. Theres a ton of tables that are a part of that deal as well, so you can imagine the odds of being in the right place at the very exact moment its hit. Its probably not the odds of winning powerball, but its also not too much different either. Anyways, the jackpot was up to over half a million dollars when it was hit. As competitive as I am, Ive been putting in a ton of hours playing at the jackpot tables. Staying up all hours too. The way it works is the hand loser in that situation wins the jackpot, which was like 200 grand. The hand winner who put the "bad beat" on him gets around 97 grand there. Everyone else just sitting at the table to witness the event also shares a certain percentage. I wont say how much it is, but its pretty exciting. I couldnt believe it and I was just shocked and screaming when it happened. Funny thing is, lunch was being served and I was in the process of CLOSING up all the tables to leave the game and go eat. Fortunately I didnt close up the winner in time. There are taxes on this obviously, so Ill lose a good chunk to that, but Im not greedy and its still well more than enough to put me on cloud 9 right now. And now that Ive done this, I truly do plan to quit playing higher stakes forever. It really does take alot of time, and alot of people look down upon playing and gambling and I feel ashamed every time I do it and people see it. It robbed me of sleep to play and even when I did go to bed I would envision cards and scenarios in my head endlessly, driving me crazy. I had lost a bit of what I had made in the past and I wanted to win it back, but kept losing. It took the place of tennis which was taken from me this summer, and fulfilled my competitiveness in a hunger to win that jackpot. Its over now and I feel no need to play in the future unless im completely bored and im playing for small stakes coins. The rest of it will be deposited into a bank account that ill set up now.

Hope you all are having a good holiday if youre reading this. If my wrist holds up when I try hitting, Id love to do some tennis if you call me. Ill probably call you though! Im going to be training so hard now, with a good wrist it will be exactly like a breath of new life for me.

Committed

2007-12-14T08:59:00.000-06:00

The workouts and getting up early are going well so far. Its been hard a couple times getting up at 5:30 but I forced myself out of bed and came in all this week. Ive also started some lifting of weights at home and so that is nice to have now too. Im fairly sore and tired from it all but thats a good thing and Im going to keep everything up all this winter. Hopefully if I ever can start being a tennis player again I will have my conditioning as a weapon and be stronger and fitter than I was before the injury. I also came in to swim in the pool one morning and thats definitely a great workout. It works your muscles in a way that youre not used to if you havent swam, and most people dont. And going hard is very much like sprinting working that system, so it will be excellent cross-training. I highly recommend it for anyone.

Although my wrist has a very long ways to go, I feel like it is becoming stronger. I am able to do some things with less pain that were too painful to do at all before, or do things better that once were very difficult. Maybe the hand exercises and stretches are working, and maybe it just is a matter of time as well. I try to do it in my spare moments even though its pretty boring. Ive been better and better about my therapy since it seems to be getting better so Ill trust that maybe its serving its purpose well.

I sometimes think about why I am torturing myself with these hard workouts and early mornings when I may not even be able to play tennis like I used to again. But I guess I just have the motivation now, and I feel more like myself again if I am training hard, and that makes me feel better overall and in a better mood than I was. Its almost like I have tricked myself into being optimistic and hopeful about playing again to do what Im doing, but thats ok and I will cross the bridge later if my hand is unable to get to where it needs to be. It would be very worth it in a few months to already be in great shape and only have to worry about the tennis at that point.

After today I have 2 and a half days of student teaching and college! I havent seen Megan or my cat in about 2 weeks so it will be nice to see them today after school :) Probably going to go to a movie Saturday; "I am Legend". If anyone has seen it let me know how good it is.

Getting back on track

2007-12-11T10:50:00.000-06:00

Alright, well Im getting back on track and Ive decided Im going to start working out hard again. The last week I did what I set out to do and did my usual routine every day, and the last few days I did it twice a day. Im going to start coming into the school gym at 6am now to do sprints and stuff, and then at night I will do my routine I had been doing and whatever Im able to do for upper body as my right hand will allow. I will probably use the weekends as rest time. The teachers Im workin with here said I can keep coming in after Im done in January, so that will be nice, otherwise Id have no other place to do it since its snowy and freezing outside.

I have about one week left of student teaching and college and then Im finished. The graduation ceremony is this coming Sunday at SCSU. I had been so bored and depressed for the last few months but Im coming out of that now and will try to stay busy and find other things to do. Besides my workouts I will spend more time rehabbing my wrist, probably watching some movies, playing some games, and doing the Christmas stuff with the families. In other words itll be pretty sweet to be done with school and have fun for a while, and then even when I start some kind of job I wont have to deal with school issues. Im considering quitting poker forever, but maybe someday a long time from now Ill play a little again. I get up and win and then I make boneheaded decisions and lose more. I am strong willed enough so I can quit anything cold-turkey so thats what im going to do. I also am going to follow a strict diet and completely cut myself off from some things once I get going on the hard workouts. Sweets, junk and pop can be tempting but it wont be a problem.

Im still not sure exactly what Im going to do this winter and spring after this week. I have a few options and offers but my wrist complicates things alot. I can stay around possibly rehabbing my wrist and teach as a sub around the area. I could take a tennis job in the cities and see how that goes if my wrist gets a little better in the next month or so. Or I could do both by subing first and then going down there. I have no idea when or if Ill be able to play again, but I dont see myself being able to hit anytime sooner than March. I hope by then or at least not too much later. I have regained the flexibilty very well and have only a little bit left to go, but the strength is weak and certain movements hurt too much. Hope you all are having a good one and enjoy the holiday soon.

I just graded a volleyball unit written test on the rules of the game, for 7th grade. Found a few of the answers worth posting:
____________________________________________________
Q: True/False- Either the serving or receiving team can score a point.
A: forearm pass

Q: True/False- Either the serving or receiving team can score a point.
A: six

Q: Only ___ hit(s) are allowed by the same person, in a row.
A: do over

Q: Only __ hit(s) are allowed by the same person in a row.
A: false

Q: In an official game, you must win by __ points.
A: good serve

Q: An official game is played up to __ points.
A: rally scoring

Q: The same person continues to ___ if their team scores the previous point.
A: True

Home Christmas dance video

2007-12-04T16:56:00.000-06:00

Found this site by chance today. I made my own clip and thought it was amusing. Check it out!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1166283448

Getting alot of snow here but it has been coming at the wrong times. Id LOVE a snow day but I dont know if ill get my wish within 2 weeks.

Good Monday

2007-12-03T21:31:00.000-06:00

You can call me Ferris Bueller today, decided I needed another day of R&R =)

Wrist has gotten better with flexibility and stuff but is still very weak, will be a long process. Im doing more strength exercises in addition to the stretching now. I wish I could purchase my own ultrasound machine. I even mentioned this to be humorous to my therapist and her reply was that it would put her out of a job. Mmmmmk.

Ive been doing some light workouts as I wanted, doing bike, leg lifts and abs. Im still eating and drinking garbage however. Im planning to do this stuff for another few days, and then start 2-a-days, and then start adding in some sprints in the morning at school before we start. That will be killer, so I need to build up a little bit before I start that. Then I will also hopefully decide to discontinue eating junk and drinking 4+ sodas a day.

Wake up call

2007-11-29T12:20:00.000-06:00

Well today we tested the 8th grade basketball units on lay-ups. They have to start each shot running from the free-throw line elbow and get as many as they can in 1 minute. Well, I decided at the end that Im going to see how many I can do, left-handed of course since my right hand sucks right now. (Which is fine because Im about as good with the left as the right for lay-ups from practicing it alot back when I was a kid.)

I start out really hard, going as fast as I can and making every one. I probably got to about the 45 second mark and had about 13 or 14 made, and I notice im fairly fatigued. Fatigued as in getting real light-headed, and my throat was burning. I missed one finally and then Im to the point where Im hoping that Im done and waiting for the whistle, but I still had 10 seconds to go. So I was pretty much waiting for the time to run out, and quit. I was feeling a black-out, like I was going to faint or something when I was done, and pretty out of breath. Flem in my throat big time. I had more teaching to do still for that class, and I could hardly even talk without being out of breath and feeling sick.

I cant believe how far I have fallen since I hurt my hand. This wouldnt have phased me at all if I tried this while I was playing tennis, working out and training. I think I am in thee worst shape of my life now. Im embarassed to have come so low. I had been working out back in August and September a little before and after surgery, but after the different surgeries and stuff I was told at times not to jar my hand by running. So I would stop and then didnt start back up again for a while. Also without being able to use my hand or forsee a time when I would have my hand back the same, if ever, it has been difficult to get motivated to work out at all, even lightly biking or whatever. When I start a work out, I feel like going 100%, thats just always how Ive been because when you want to get to the top of your sport, it would be to a degree a waste of time to go less than that if thats your goal. Its the only proper way to go about it. Thats why when I have worked out here and there lightly on the bike or running this fall, I dont enjoy it, mainly because I know that I cant do it the way I use to or want to. And therefore, Ive felt like "whats the point", and I havent been doing it at all now for quite some time.

So today maybe this was a good thing; a wake-up call. Im going to be in such horrible condition continuing this way if I ever do get the chance to play again, when and if that time comes. I hated how I felt today, and I couldnt believe it. I dont want to ruin my health and body. Its not going to be real fun, but if I can get myself to just run a little or bike every day, I will know im keeping my fitness up a little instead of wasting away and pouting about what I cannot do.

Tired and bored

2007-11-28T07:41:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I was down in St Cloud after school for a meeting and then celebrated Megan's birthday at dinner with alot of her friends, so that was fun. Happy Birthday again Megan! I stayed the night over there, so to get to school today on time I had to get up at 5:45. Im pretty tired because of that and also I dont sleep as well with the cat moving around all night and sleeping in the bed. Mainly its just my over-concern for it by looking at it and petting it whenever it comes by, so its my own fault.

Today when I got to school I learned that apparently all the 7th graders are gone from school for the whole day because theyre going to the Guthrie theatre. Therefore, I will only be teaching 2 classes all day of 8th graders. Its going to be a boring day and ill likely take a nap right at my desk.

How to charge an iPod?

2007-11-26T22:54:00.000-06:00

Not many things on the computer get me to actually laugh out loud. But after watching this second video, I was laughing so hard I almost had a stomach ache. I guess this just fits really well with my style of humor. Ok, so watch the first one, and then watch the "video response" someone did as the second video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfPJeDssBOM&NR=1 (Serious video -or not?-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zdCjrL_Joo&watch_response (Hilarious)

"The kitten is now absorbing the electrolytes"... LOL!

On another note, does anyone else have trouble sleeping at night sometimes because there are extreme emotions and thoughts racing through your head? I have this problem at times. I never get nearly as emotional or worked up during the day however; it is always strong like this at night when I am about to settle in and go to sleep (and then as a result, I cant very well usually). I basically was having some really powerful visions. Some of which are going to make me sound pretty abnormal. Maybe I am:

The first visions I had mainly were deaths. I imagined my new cat, and the little things I enjoy about her, and then I pictured myself 20 years from now at the age of about 43, finding her dead and holding her in my arms, with memories flooding to me of right now when I first got her and such. I got worked up enough to actually react as if it were REAL and was basically red-eyed shedding a couple real tears. If I picture that vision right now I would almost have no reaction to it because it is not real and would be a long ways away from now, but lying in bed at the end of the day it becomes that strong. Why? I also imagine those close to me in my life dying of various tragedies and the sorrow I would have. I imagine myself also being and living as a better person, and doing certain things and being the person I would ultimately wish I was. For example, a vision of myself being extremely helpful, unselfish, and doing things for others first always and making that the sole purpose of my life rather than doing things for myself so much. Along with this unbelieveably moving melodramatic theme-music I hear, I picture myself rolling off and letting go anything harmful people do or say to me and I feel a rush of care, love and compassion for every single person in the world. I feel regrets for things I have said and done to others in my life that actually have happened. Its all like Im in the movie Scrooge being visited by spirits from the past, present and future.

Finally, my last vision was of something I cannot reveal because it is something I want to happen so badly after seeing it. It was so powerful and motivating, and I can make it come true if things fall into place for me. It is a surprise for many and therefore I cannot share it until (and if ever) it happens. The vision gives me something concrete that I want to happen and work for, and I dont think Ive ever had that. I have rarely ever had a concrete, specific goal for things; more or less the notion, yet still effective, of doing my best and being successful at something in general. But after picturing something in the future, in great detail, that you want to happen so badly- I want to make it happen. Part of it is under my control, part of it is not. I will say this, although many people reading this could be on the right track toward having a small percentage of the idea of what this is all about, there is no possible way anyone could be remotely close to guessing what my vision is. It is fairly complex and involves quite a few important things and people to me. Perhaps it will never happen, or the way I saw it. But maybe someday in the future it could happen and I will then be able to talk about it.

Back to Work

2007-11-25T22:33:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving break was great but it went way too fast. Lots of excellent food which I especially enjoy because I always eat the same thing and take out stuff every day at my house. Also alot of time to relax and have some fun with Megan's family, and of course my cat. I have alot to be thankful for, and at the same time I really wish things were alot better right now as I said last week. Ive been doing my stretching exercises for my wrist, and although it is still pretty much the same, I think I might notice a very slight difference for the better. If I were to say a number percentage of where it is at, I would say it has to be around10-15% or so of what it used to be in terms of strength, flexibility, and comfort.

Back to teaching tommorow; its a bummer since Ive had a nice 4 day vacation from it. At the same time, it is nice to think I only have a few weeks left before I am done and will be completely finished with college. Christmas is around the corner as well and that will be really fun like this last weekend was, and longer. After that, I do not really have much of an idea of where I'll be or what I will do.

I did not have a chance to do any working out since I was busy over the break, and I want to change that. Part of me almost does not even know I was injured; I get the flashes of my motivation and competitiveness and want to just go out and work out like a maniac. Part of me is also just really down and I dont know why I would go through that, and I cant get motivated to do much (since I cant do much more than bike and run with my hand anyway) right now. All I know, is that if I ever get another chance to do what I used to before, I am pretty sure I would work harder than ever. I think I put more effort and energy into my training than most people have before this happened, but my perspective has got to change so much now having never gone through something at this level before. I do not see how I could ever take an easy way out or quit whenever I am tired or hurting or anything; I would go on with so much zeal from now on, remembering what it felt like to not be even physically able to do it in the past. And unfortunately I might never be the same as I used to, physically, that is probably a likely fact. I wont be the same person mentally either probably. But for that, I think it will only be for the better. Now all I can do is wait this out with my therapy and try to just keep a minimum fitness level by eating a little better and doing a little cardio on a near daily basis.

New Blog

2007-11-20T22:51:00.001-06:00

Hey everyone! Not sure if any people will actually read this but I thought Id start a blog to keep track of what Im doing lately. I used to have a blog about 2 years ago that mainly followed how my last year of school and tennis went back in 05-06, and it also had a lot of detail about what I felt were the most important events in my life from highschool on up. It got fairly personal on a few occasions and so thats why I took it down so as not to offend anyone.

The main inspiration for starting this blog is that Ive been going through what, for me, is the hardest part of my life. Im a very lucky person and Ive tried to remain grateful for everything I have, as well as realize how things could be alot worse right now. But it has been real tough; Ive suffered an injury that has taken me out completely for a few months now as well as impose the possibility that my career will end and that my hand will never be the same. Not only that, but Ive been worried my hand will effect my working life as well considering I want to coach tennis and work with other athletes. So much can be said so I will try to just give a really short rundown on what has happened:

In August of this year (2007) I was in the last tournament of the year. I was having a relatively decent summer of tennis, so this injury came at a better time if it was indeed going to happen. As a side note, many of you also know I had been recovering from (another...) major injury previous to now in the fall of '06 with my right shoulder --All of these injuries in the past year or so are so freakish and are the first major tennis injuries Ive ever had-- Anyways, I got through that after a couple months and was able to start playing again last winter, when I developed some tendonitis in my left wrist from backhands. This also took me out a couple months but I got through this fully as well. Needless to say I was struggling to play at my best all fall/winter but I was at least able finally that March to start working hard without an injury. I still was not playing well even into May and part of June, but at that point I finally got it turned around and had some good results at the tournaments, including almost beating a player ranked in the top 700 in the world in 3 sets, also almost beat a former All-American Minnesota Gopher I highly regard, and finally won the Aquatennial event this summer and beat 3 players along the way whom I had lost to in my previous matches with them.

Then in August Im playing a Futures (lowest level professional event) qualifying tournament and was starting to burn out a little but felt I had a good draw to get through. I was playing well the day of the match and was up 6-0 5-0. On the first point of the game, I went up for a jumping smash. In hindsight, I probably shouldnt have done this because it probably wasnt necessary. I missed the shot completely somehow, and I felt and heard something in my wrist. When I came down I was initially embarassed, surprised, and scared. I didnt know the gravity of what I had done and was wishing that the next point I wouldnt find out I had trouble. That next point the first shot I hit, I knew right away I had a large problem. I went into major panic, not knowing if I had broken it or what. I finished out the game actually by slicing and dropshotting, but was unable to play the next day, didnt even try because I knew I was unable.

Turns out I tore a ligament in my wrist which is supposed to hold together two bones which move together. With it torn, they were moving independently, and therefore I had instability doing sharp movements. Since then I have had the x-rays, MRI, initial surgery, cast for 10 weeks, 2nd surgery to take the pins out and cast off, follow up x-rays, and just recently started physical therapy. Good news right now is from the last appointment, The bones seemed to come together and heal the way we hoped (there was a large gap). I also dont seem to feel the instability I felt before from now being able to limitedly use and move my right hand. Bad news is as I mentioned before, the outlook of my wrist has been uncertain on whether I could recover from it and play competitively again. Besides worrying about the injury healing (or even being re-injured), a main concern is on my range of motion. I was told many people with this injury only get back 60% of their original ROM, some better, some even nearly gain it all back. Right now my flexibility and strength is horrible, and although I can finally use my hand which is nice, I feel a lot of weakness and strain in most movements moving the wrist in flexion, extending back, and side to side.

Its been hard for me in many ways, Ive gone through a long range of feelings about this and have been depressed often. Ive tried to find ways to entertain myself and keep my mind off of this. Because I have always been able to train and compete, the absence of this has brought a lot of frustration and boredom upon me. I have turned to different things, most of which are not positive. Fortunately im strong in my beliefs against alcohol and drugs, but I have turned to playing videogames, and gambling with online poker and blackjack. I wont go into detail about winning and losing here, other than to say I have had huge variance and swings. As a competitive person, online videogames with rankings or playing competitive poker has somewhat kept my interest feeding that fire, but I also know I need to let go of it. I am simply a very competitive person and these are avenues to fulfill this. Other fewer times I try to look optimistically and think about how I'll be ok in the end when everything works out, or beat it somehow. Ive been on and off with my workouts; it has been difficult to be motivated when I cant train and am unsure of my future. I am at the point now though where I have some hope from my recent appointments and beginning therapy, and I am sick of feeling sorry for myself and so I plan to get very serious about my diet, and working out religiously every day, several times a day. Im just hoping for the best and it will continue to be a long process no matter how the outcome is.

Otherwise, ive been student-teaching this semester. I will be completely graduated and done with school in December and this in itself is both exciting and overwhelming. It has gone well for the most part, but at the same time my true passion lies with competition, sports and tennis and I know that I would much rather coach than teach in a school setting. Im hoping at the very least I will be able to do this if I cant play tennis the same anymore. Otherwise if I have to teach, right now Im thinking that I enjoy working with an older age group as opposed to Elementary kids.

This may seem weird or funny, but a sidenote news happening for me was satisfying my lifelong dream of owning a pet! Megan's sister had some barn cats we would visit regularly and I was hooked instantly. I love dogs too, but theres some things about cats that I am attached to. Her sister saw my bond with one particular kitten (6 months) and decided she would give her (Lilly) to us. The situation worked and that is probably the reason why this was able to happen. Megan will take care of Lilly during school, and when I eventually get a job and place of my own I will take her in. She is an extremely friendly tiger tabby and is unique in this way. She also has the usual athletic cat side to her and is fun to toy around with and watch. She has slept with a human every night since we have had her, and is doing well now following her recent surgeries for claws, making babies, and actually getting run over (we are glad she made it and is alive, I probably would have cried. Im serious. You got a problem with that, wanna go right now??).

Alright, Im out for now, looking forward to Thanksgiving break long weekend at Megan's. I really also want to take this time to think about all the things I do have and be grateful, and not hate life so much right now. Have a good one!